Attraction | V.N Y.K [Book 1] ✔️

Chapter 12

The next two weeks consisted of practicing. And more practicing.

..and more practicing.

Honestly, Viktor overworked me so much it scared me. Sure, he did work with Yurio a lot, but me.. he never stopped. For some reason he's just so latched onto the idea of making my performance perfect and I can't seem to figure out why.

Viktor had given us the speech about a week and a half ago about finding "inspiration". For about three days both Yurio and I couldn't find anything but then all of a sudden Yurio's just "clicked" and he found his inspiration; something that gives him unconditional love.

But me; no. I hadn't found anything that brings me sexual attraction.

I mean, I'm a twenty four year old man! I should have a little more experience in that department, right?

..no.

So based off of pure desperation, and something that I do often crave, I said pork cutlet bowls.

Pork cutlet bowls? Seriously?!

I'm pathetic.

Well, now we have two days until the performance and I'm basically ready. I have all of the step sequence memorized and perfected, plus I think I've got the jumps down good.

There's only one problem.

My self confidence.

I'm a twenty four year old male who has extremely low self esteem and severe anxiety. And I'm skating about making people sexually attracted to me. I'm not used to showing myself off this much and I feel like I just don't have the composition for it.

And I'm afraid Viktor won't think I do either.

Which results in him leaving.

Which is something I don't want.

I need him here with me. I can't just let him leave.

I had realized ever since that day on the beach that something was up with me. Lately I've been thinking about nothing but him and I can't help my heart from beating faster every single time I see him. I get this strange feeling in my heart every time I even think about him and whenever I see him talking with a girl I immediately want him to leave her.

And the fact that when he kisses me I become calm.. that's another factor.

I had been thinking about asking Yuko about it for awhile, considering this has never happened to me before and I have absolutely no experience with it. But I'm nervous. Nervous of the outcome.

"Yuri, practice that again." Viktor says. Yurio whines and I have sweat dripping down my face, my breathing heavy.

"V-viktor.. what about Yurio? How many times is this I've practiced? ..eight, maybe?" I say, barely even getting it all out in two separate breaths. He laughs.

"Come on. One more time, then I'll tell you what you need to improve on."

"V-viktor, I s-seriously feel like I'm going to p-pass out.." I respond. He gives me a confused look and then puts a finger on his chin.

"Alright, fine. Yurio, practice yours twice. But then I want to see Yuri's again." He says. Yurio shows an annoyed face but skates out onto the ice.

"So, what. You're gonna make him do it ten times but then me twice? Where's the logic in that?"

"That's because you've got it down. I have confidence in you." He responds. I feel my heart throb in pain.

He's.. He's not confident in mine?