Chapter 47

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Viktor and I walk into the rink, my face even whiter than before and the bags under my eyes darker. My bones felt weak, my mind felt buzzed and my shoulders wouldn't stop hanging low.

I didn't know what was wrong with me.

Back there, I hadn't gotten any sleep. For about two hours, I simply just laid there, occasionally peeking my eyes open to catch a glimpse of Viktor's beauty.

But me? Nope.
I'm just as tired as before, except more.

So why, if I'm tired, can't I sleep?

All of a sudden, I felt extremely clogged up, and my head felt as if it was going to explode. I felt insecure, cold rushes came over me, and my mind was swirling with different emotions and thoughts that provoked and intimidated me.

What was I going to do?

I was performing Yuri on Ice in less than an hour, and I couldn't be in this shape for that. I knew I would collapse if I tried to perform.

In an instant, depression hit me like a dodgeball and I felt as if I wanted to cry.

What if Viktor leaves?

What if I embarrass him?

What if people hate him since I'm not worthy of his love and time?

What if..
What if I'm just not good enough?

"Yuri?" Viktor asks, stopping dead in his tracks to stand in front of me and rest a hand on my cheek. "Seriously, what's wrong with you? Did you not get any sleep back there?"

"No! I mean- yes, y-yes I did." I lie, shutting my eyes. "I'm just.. nervous,"

He simply bites his lip, obviously not fooled but not asking anymore questions as he turns around and is stopped for an interview.

They begin to ask him questions, and so I just walk over to the wall, resting my hands on it and stretching out my body.

Although, stretching didn't help.

I felt like a mess.

After a few moments, a couple reporters walk up to me and shove their cameras into my face, asking me questions about my mental state and how I'm feeling.

"Are you alright, Katsuki?"

"Are you nervous?"

"Why do you look so sick?"

"What's going on with you?"

I open my mouth, although all that comes out is a small, broken squeak. I back up further against the wall, wanting to be away from everything but them just backing me into the corner more.

I turn my head to the side, trying to get my point across as I close my eyes tight that I don't want any publicity at the moment, but this just simply provokes them to shove all of it in my face more. I bite my lip, squirming and trying to get away.

I feel a hand wrap around my wrist, forcefully pushing his way through the crowd and holding my hand, walking us away with a glum look on his face.

After a couple seconds of an awkward silence, Viktor leads us into a parking garage and closes the door, sighing.

"What's wrong." He says.

"I-I told you, it's nothing-"

"Yuri!" He says harshly, grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards him forcefully. "I don't want to be mean, but whatever is bothering you, you need to tell m-"

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