Attraction | V.N Y.K [Book 1] ✔️

A/n

Hi guys I'm so sorry that this isn't an update but I needed to share this with y'all or it would have bothered me so much.

Guys, please please watch all the way through the YouTube video I connected. It's Troye Sivan's new song & MV for "Heaven".

You'll see why it literally brought me to tears and I hope you loved it just as much as I did.

Guys, I want to make sure you know something that this MV is just pushing me to say.

You're loved. No matter your sexuality. And I know, I know for some people it's so hard to not be heterosexual because of religion or parents or just society. And if you can live a life without any discrimination against it I am truly so happy for you.

But, I know for me, my parents are VERY against homosexuals. My family are all strong Christians as well as me so it's really hard to get to figure out what I truly am.

I'm pretty sure I'm heterosexual, but lately I've been staying up crying for hours because I just don't know anymore. I feel more attached to my own gender than I have for guys and I've never held romantic feelings for anyone.

..and I'm a high schooler.

You'd expect by now, I'd of had SOME sort of feelings for someone, right? No. I haven't.

At first I just thought I was asexual. Because that's just what seemed to fit.

But when I saw this music video, when I really watched it, and REALLY thought about it, it describes everything about my life so perfectly I couldn't even form words or get the tears out of my eyes. My mouth hung open the entire 4 minutes and tears glossed my eyes.

And I know for me, it is so, so hard and painful figuring out who exactly I am or who I like. Like I said, mainly because my mom says she hates homosexuals so much that if it weren't a crime, she'd shoot every one of them. But I support them so much, it breaks my heart to live in a world where such things are said.

I always just thought it hurt me so badly because ALL of my ships and a ton of my friends are homosexual, plus I just support them so much, but when I watched this I realized it's so much more.

I don't know yet, but I might be one myself, and the thought TERRIFIES me. My religion is strongly against it, and I love God, I want to live a life for God (ignore all my smut lol) but can I really change something I was born as? Can someone really help who they fall in love with?

I'm telling this to all of you out there who are struggling with something similar to me- it's alright. Even if it feels like the world is against you, and it feels like your walls are constantly caving in, I love you, as do other people even if you can't see it.

But in the end, I love you. All of you. The only reason I'm still stable right now is because of you all and it shatters my heart to know you amazing people might be going through something so similar to me.

So don't be afraid to be who you were born as.

Don't change.

Be you, please. Please. You can't change who you are, because the you you are now is the best you. Because you're you.

You don't have to live up to everyone's expectations. You don't have to tremble in fear when someone calls you out for just who you are.

Because you're not them. You're you. Two different people.

Please never change.

Please stay you.

And if you can't do it for yourself, because it hurts too much, do it for me. Do it for the people who do truly love you.

Because there are people who truly love you.

Just thought I'd say that. ❤️