Wednesday, 11th January 2017 - Slayer: Going Over the Footage
Dear Diary
I could have spent all day smelling that knife. It was the best experience of my life, killing that horse. For now, I was sated. I felt content. That was enough.
Every time I smelt the knife, I was reminded of everything I had felt while performing the deed, and I was only more certain. It was amazing.
I spent almost the entire day smelling my knife while going over my footage. My very own movie, dedicated to the gruesome death of this horse. I'm sure that many people that I knew would not have approved of this, my mother least of all. But I didn't care about them. I cared about me. I cared about this horse. I cared about this smell.
So good was this smell, in face, that I had not even washed my knife this morning. I wanted this to last as possible.
That night while I was making dinner, my mother came into the kitchen and sat on one of the stools that we had set up. I imagined that she wanted to ask how I was or something tedious like that.
"Hey, are you okay?" she asked.
"Yes, why would I not be?"
She pointed to the television which was currently playing the news.
"At the local farm, a horse was murdered, butchered!".
I swallowed and took a deep breath, wondering if she suspected.
"And...?" I replied, trying to feign disinterest.
"Are you scared at all?" she asked, a hint of worry creeping into her voice.
"No" I said honestly, "Why would I be?"
She signed, before loudly saying
"This happened within walking distance from our house! What if they come back and decide it's not horse they want anymore. There's not many houses near here, they could easily choose this one, and you're home all alone every day! I'm so worried."
Part of what she said was true. Part of me didn't just want horse anymore.
"They probably won't, I should be fine!" I explained.
"I worry about you" she said sadly.
"I know, but I'll be fine" I said, with an intense desire to stop talking to her.
If she kept on pressing this conversation, the horse slayer really was going to strike this house.
She must have sense the finality in my voice, as she left me alone. This worked out for her, although I did have a few questions.
What would it be like to repeat my actions on a human?
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