Destined To Kill

CHAPTER 5

We reached the hospital soon. By then all my tears are drained. The panic alone remained, my heart beating wildly.

As soon as he pulled into the hospital parking lot, I rushed out of the car not bothering to even close it. I ran all the way to the front door and only only paused to inquire the receptionist where the ICU was. It was on the third floor.

I didn't even wait for the elevator. I climbed up the stairs taking two or three at time. Normally I would be so clumsy that I would have fallen down. But now the adrenaline pump had done the job. I heard David footsteps behind me. But I didn't turn.

Soon we reached the third floor. A man was already waiting outside the room.

"Gared," David called out to the man.

"David. Oh My God," The man said standing up. "Are you the sister?" he asked. I nodded. "Did you call your parents?" I nodded again. I called Myra shortly after the puking incident.

"How is he?" I asked glancing at the closed door.

"The doctors say that he has lost lot of blood. It's critical. They want to see your parents to say more."

"God. Oh God no!" This is definitely not happening. I collapsed on the chairs. I hid my face with my palm. Tears broke through my eyelids.

David sat on the chair beside me and threw his hands around me but remained silent. Gared was standing awkwardly not knowing what to do.

After about ten minutes which seemed like hours Myra rushed into the waiting hall looking distraught. She came straight to me and hugged me. I just stood not hugging back still glad for the loving warmth.

"It's going to be okay. Don't worry," she said.

At that moment the door opened and a doctor came out still wearing the scrubs.

"Relatives of the patient?" He called out. We both stepped forward. He first looked at me. "You must be the twin sister he mentioned. Are you a big sister?" He asked Myra.

"I'm their guardian" She said wiping the tears.

"I want to know about the alcohol," He said.

"Alcohol?" She asked surprised. I looked down. I didn't exactly explain about the accident.

"Yes. Do you know about this?" He asked me.

"Yeah," I said still looking down. I explained everything to her. She let out a surprised gasp.

The doctor continued. "A lot of blood has been lost. And the alcohol is not helping the treatment. Now I have to tell you that his condition is very very critical."

Myra sobbed. I was only able to stare at him open mouthed. He looked again at me. Then went back into the room without saying another word.

"What? How? No!" Myra stammered looking at me. I didn't say anything. She sat down at the chair breaking down sobbing. I remained standing. After staring at us for some time Gared left again trying to reassure me. But it seems like I turned deaf to this. David remained standing near me.

I couldn't do much than just remain standing. The tears has drained. I feel horrible. I couldn't meet Myra's eyes. She loved us like a big sister. Now I feel like I was responsible for all this. If only I had stopped him.

I leaned against the wall staring at the ICU door. I can only see some figures moving around through the translucent door. When I couldn't look more I closed my eyes. Even the darkness didn't help.

After some time Myra too stopped crying and stared at the opposite wall. Fortunately she didn't question or give me as much as a glance. The last thing I want was her increasing the already raging guilt. Everybody remained silent. Though David has no more business in here he still stayed. I can't say I'm glad for it.

My mind didn't remain silent though. It was like it was split into two parts. One part is the optimistic one. Thinking of the probabilities that Ryan will be alive and well. That we won't even get in trouble for. the underage drinking. The other part is the opposite. It fills me with thoughts of the dark things that scares me. The probability of him dying.

I tried to calm down. Thinking about all this only makes me more paranoid. But no matter what I tried, I couldn't stop these thoughts. If only me thinking about it will save him. Thoughts can be manipulated. But reality is not so. Reality is like falling headfirst on ice cold water. It shakes you up, it makes you helpless, creates illusions, and make you wish you were dead.

After all that happened I don't want to lose him. That would kill me. He is my only family left. I lost my parents last year. That experience still haunts me. If it repeats again then I can never ever recover.

After what seemed like ten hours the doctor came out again. We all stood up straight. "What happened?" Myra asked.

He didn't have to say anything. His face said it all. I have seen this same expression one year ago. I know this grave face doctors make while giving a bad news.

"I'm sorry Miss.Varma. But we couldn't save him."