Things We Lost To The FlΔmes (BΔSTILLE fanfic)

Δrgument

The drive back home was silent, until Dan decided to break it.

"Sooo" he said.

"So?" I asked, not understand what he was implying.

"How was your date?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"It wasn't a date" I clarified. Robbie didn't specifically say it was a date, and neither did I. "And it was good I guess"

"There better not have been any kissing" he said playfully and I turned bright red.

I just laughed awkwardly, hoping he wouldn't catch on. He furrowed his eyebrows and I knew he knew that we'd kissed. I looked down nervously, awaiting a response. Luckily, he didn't speak. I shyly looked back up and he was looking at the road, his lips in a firm line. He seemed mad. Maybe I shouldn't go out with Robbie again, if it makes Dan mad. Or was it just the fact that he kissed me?

We reached the building of flats and got out of the car. The journey up to the flat was silent and extremely awkward. Dan unlocked the door and we walked inside, still not saying a word. I decided to do some homework. It wasn't due until next week but I might as well get a head start.

"I'm uh, going to do some homework" I said nervously before rushing to my bedroom.

I closed the door and sighed, slumping onto my bed. I did half of my English essay when I decided to stop. I needed to face Dan, we couldn't not speak to each other, he was my dad. I approached my door cautiously before opening it. I saw Dan sitting on the sofa with his glasses on, looking at the TV. I could tell that he was just staring at the TV, not focusing on what was going on. He had his thinking face on.

"Dan?" I said quietly.

He turned to look at me, his face expressionless. I began to panic, I didn't want to talk to him about this, not right now, but it was too late.

"Uh, never mind" I stuttered and backed into my bedroom again.

I sighed, why couldn't I just talk to him? I changed into my pyjamas and decided to give it one more shot. I walked out of my room confidently, but shrank back into my shy self when Dan turned to look at me. I looked at the floor and walked over to the sofa. I sat down, not too close and sighed.

"Dan, I'm sorry" I spoke in a whisper.

He hesitated before speaking. "For what?"

"You know what" I said.

"Do I?" He muted the TV, leaving us in silence.

"Yes, and I'm sorry" I looked into his stormy eyes and looked down.

"Lily you can't go round kissing every boy you meet" Dan said and I looked up into his eyes.

"What?" I said, my tone was pissed off. Did he just say what I think he just said? Is he serious?

"You heard what I said" he said stubbornly.

"I don't go round kissing everyone Dan!" I shouted and a tear fell from my eye.

"I-I-I'm sorry" he whispered. "I know you don't, but, I-I don't like seeing you with all these boys"

"All these boys? Dan are you serious? Are you trying to say that I'm a slut or something? There's only one, and we're just friends!" I raised my voice a little.

"Well your obviously not, you kissed" he said angrily.

"It didn't mean anything! I don't like him that way!" I yelled.

"Stop kidding yourself Lily! You do and you know it!" He shouted.

"You don't know how I feel! Why are you so mad?!" I yelled.

"Because I'm your dad, that's what dads are supposed to do! I'm just trying to protect you!" He stood up, towering over me.

"Well you're not doing a very good job! I hate you!" I screamed, running into my room and slamming the door.

I slid down the door and burst into tears. I threw my glasses onto the floor, not caring what happened to them. I buried my head into my hands and sobbed. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it, he was the best father I could have asked for. Why did I say that I hated him?! I was just angry, but I should never have said that I hated him, I love him more than anything in the world. The tears began to flow harder and my chest hurt, right in the spot of my heart. I needed to apologise.

I stood up and wiped the tears away from my cheeks. I opened the door and saw Dan sat on the floor, leaning against the sofa. His glasses were on the table and his head was in his hands.

"Dan?" I said quietly.

He looked up and I began to cry again. His cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were red and puffy. I slid down onto my knees and hid my face into my hands as I cried harder. I'd made him cry, I'd hurt him. I managed to look up and I saw Dan looking at me with tears flowing down his face. Fresh tears made their way down my face and I stood up. I ran over to Dan and wrapped my arms around him. I cried harder into his shoulder when he didn't hug me back.

"Dan I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, you're the best dad I could have ever dreamed of having, I'm so sorry, I love you so much" I looked into his eyes and my vision was blurred by the tears in my eyes.

He just stared at me, no emotion in his eyes or on his face. I slowly unwrapped my arms from around him and shuffled back. He hates me. I was about to run back into my room when he grabbed my arm. I flinched away, thinking he was going to hit me, like they would do at the care home.

"Please don't hit me" I cried and emotion flooded into his eyes.

"What? Lily, I would never hit you! I'm so sorry" he began crying and I moved closer to him and he wrapped me in a fatherly hug.

I slid my arms around his waist and held onto Dan with all I had. We sat crying in each others arms for about ten minutes, occasionally mumbling apologies. He moved back slightly, still holding me though, and looked into my eyes. I wiped my cheeks and sniffled.

"I love you" he smiled.

"I love you too dad" I smiled.

My face dropped as I realised what I said. He told me when he first adopted me that he didn't want me to call him dad, and I just did. I looked at him with scared eyes, but his smile grew and he sat on the sofa, pulling me onto his lap. He put the TV back on and I curled up into his chest.

"You look funny without your glasses" Dan chuckled.

I looked up at him and glared.

"Well you look funny with yours on" I giggled, prodding his side.

I stood up and walked into my room. I could feel Dan's eyes burning into my back and I laughed. I picked up my glasses, wiping them with the sleeve of my hoodie and slipped them on. I walked back out and Dan sighed with relief. I sat down next to him, but he pulled me onto his knee again. I smiled and snuggled closer to his chest. I felt his arms wrap protectively around my body and my smile grew wider.

We watched the Simpsons for a while until my eyes became heavy and I fell asleep with my head on Dan's chest.


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"Good morninggggg" Dan sang as he burst into my room.

My room? I was in my bed? How did I get here? Dan must have brought me in here last night, I remember falling asleep on him when we were watching TV.

"Good morning" I smiled sitting up.

Usually I would be grumpy and annoyed at Dan for waking me, but I wasn't this morning, I felt happy.

"Breakfast is on the table" he smiled, scooping me up in his arms and carrying me to the kitchen, kicking and screaming for him to put me down.

I'm glad that we made up last night, every time I think about what I said, my chest hurt. I couldn't help but wonder why he was so mad that Robbie and I kissed. I pushed the thought out of my mind and looked at Dan. He smiled and handed me a plate of toast.