Yin & Yang

Chapter 18: Mistakes (Gabe)

I couldn't fall asleep that night. There were too many thoughts running through my head. Thoughts of Cam. Thoughts of my powers. It was hard for me to consider that maybe I'd been wearing gloves and isolating myself for years for nothing. But Lilith had admitted that everything was her fault. It seemed like I didn't have a death touch after all.

I finally fell into a fitful sleep. Unfortunately, what seemed like 30 seconds later, my alarm went off. I crawled out of bed dreary, going through the motions of getting ready without even realizing what I was doing. I pulled on my gloves as usual, but I didn't think I'd need them. I just didn't want Lilith to know what I was doing. She would overreact. Besides, at this point, I didn't trust her judgement at all anyway.

When I walked downstairs into the kitchen, Lilith was already there, sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar. She looked up at me as I came down. Her eyes were red, like she'd been crying, and I felt a momentary pang of guilt for holding a grudge against her. But then I remembered that she hadn't told me my best friend was alive for five years. Worse still, she'd made him a zombie. I wasn't going to forgive that easily.

"Are you still mad at me?" Lilith's voice was even quieter than usual.

I couldn't even look at her. "What do you think?" I asked in a low growl. "This isn't something that just goes away."

***

The day went by quickly. Some natural instinct, formed by years of practice, had prevented me from taking my gloves off at school. But now, I was back at home. Alex and I had the house to ourselves, with Lilith out shopping for groceries.

"You seem nervous," Alex teased me as we shut the door to my room.

"Oh, you know," I said, joking to try to ease my tension. "Nobody's here. What if the house catches on fire and there's nobody to rescue us?"

Alex shook her head through a smile. "Shut up." But she was still grinning.

"Why don't you make me," I said suggestively.

Alex raised an eyebrow. Then, before I knew it, we were on my bed. Her body was on top of mine, her weight pressed into me. She was kissing me, harder, faster, more passionately than she ever had before.

Suddenly she broke away. I looked up into her eyes, saw her flushed cheeks, felt her heavy breathing. I knew I was probably the same way. She looked... beautiful. Without fully knowing what I was doing, I reached around her, pulled off my right glove, and caressed the side of her face. The contact with her skin felt good. Really good. I felt strong, and powerful.

Wait. Why did I feel powerful. Then I fully registered the look on Alex's face. It was no longer one of passion. It was pain. I knew I was hurting her. But it felt so good. It felt familiar, like something I'd done before, but I couldn't place what it was.

In an instant, I realized what was happening. It was exactly like that night with Cam. I had killed him after all. I couldn't kill Alex too. With an effort more than anything I'd ever experienced before, I wrenched my hand away from Alex's face. The adrenaline rush stopped.

Alex went limp, rolled over off of me, and onto the floor. Her eyes were rolled back in her head. Her skin was pale. Her breaths were shallow.

I screamed.