Yin & Yang

Chapter 13: Falling (Gabe)

Going to be out after school. May not be home for dinner. "Okay, we're good," I told Alex as I sent my message to Lilith.

"Perfect." She smiled at me. "So where to?"

"You choose. I don't really know what there is to do around here." I hesitated, then said, "honestly, for the past few years I haven't gotten out much."

"Aw, guess we'll have to fix that. Come on, I've got an idea." Alex reached down and grabbed my left hand in her right. Involuntarily, I flinched. "Come on, I still don't bite," Alex laughed. I forced myself to relax. I was, after all, wearing gloves that were longer than my normal ones. These were for if I was going to be having human contact, which, clearly, I was.

We meandered down to the bus stop that sat at the corner of the street in front of the school. Not long after we arrived, the bus headed downtown pulled up. Dropping a few quarters each in the fare box, we went all the way to the back of the bus. I was surprised when Alex leaned over and put her head on my shoulder. Again, I had to force myself to relax. I found the contact felt nice, despite my slight internal panic. Looking to my right, out the window, I thought back to our first period a few hours previously.

***

I'd walked into class nervous, unsure of whether or not to say anything about the night before. As usual, I got to class before Alex did. I sat anxiously in my seat, on edge. My brain was firing on all cylinders, overanalyzing. I was so nervous that when Alex sat down next to me, I barely remembered to say hello. After about a minute of awkward silence, Alex finally said to me, "oh come on. Was I really that bad of a kisser?"

Wow, that was abrupt. I was not expecting her to be so straight to the point. "That's not it, I just, just, didn't know..." I floundered, then trailed off.

"Didn't know what?" I could hear the smile in her words.

"Didn't know if we should talk about it." I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"Fine, we don't have to talk about it," she said seriously. "But how about this: What are you doing after school?"

"Nothing," I said, wary.

"What a coincidence! I'm not doing anything either! Maybe we should do something together!" The feigned excitement in her voice was mildly amusing.

"I'd like that."

"Alright then, it's a date." We both turned toward the front of the classroom as the lesson began.

***

Alex took me to a diner I'd seen before but never been inside. "This is one of my favorite places in town," she told me. It was small, but not too small. It could be easily characterized as cozy.

We sat down, and ordered some food. "So, you said before you haven't gotten out much the past few years. Why is that?"

I looked across the table at Alex's brown eyes, staring at me intently. I breathed deeply, in and out. "Five years ago, my best friend died. It was really hard on me. I've had trouble making any close friends since."

"I'm so sorry." She genuinely seemed like she was sorry. "How did he die?"

I froze. "It was... an accident. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Of course," she said. She looked like she was about to say something else, but was interrupted by the waitress coming back with our food.

Throughout our meal we quizzed each other on various things about each other. I learned that Alex loved classic rock music and Star Wars (her favorite movie was Empire Strikes Back). Her favorite color was purple and she had been a ballroom dancer for a few years before the pressures of high school had caught up to her.

Afterwards, we were walking through the park, still talking. She was curious what it was like to be a twin.

"Lilith is my closest friend. I would do anything for her. But..." I trailed off, trying to gather my thoughts. "I've kind of pulled away from her since the accident. We used to share everything. I feel bad that I've distanced myself from her." I bit my lip as I turned to look at Alex. "Do you have anyone that you would do anything for, no matter what?"

Alex's expression grew solemn. "My sister," she said, gazing into the distance. "She has autism. Taking care of her is a huge burden on my parents. I help out with her as much as possible. She's just so sweet." Alex's eyes sparkled with the hint of tears. "I just wish that she had the chance to live a normal life like I do. I would do anything to make that happen."

I was struck by the strength of emotion that Alex displayed. "Well she's lucky to have you in her life."

We sat down on a bench. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled Alex against me. This time, I decided to make the move. I leaned in, and kissed her slowly on the lips. The kiss lingered, for what felt like an eternity. When we pulled apart, my heart was racing. But my head hadn't felt so clear in a long time. Things felt right.