Turning Back..

Chapter 22

I opened my eyes and was confused for a second as I thought about the dream I had just had, well not a dream it was more like a memory, I still remember that night so clearly "Deven?" I looked next to me seeing Jaime looking at me with that same concerned expression he'd had plastered on his face for the last day almost "What?" I asked him 

"You were just staring at the ceiling, it was freaking me out" I smiled

"Just had a weird dream, I'm fine" he nodded "I think I'm going to go do some shopping today" I announced as I sat up "Don't you have a doctor's appointment?" I sighed 

"I'll go shopping after then" I got up and went over to my suitcase, I should really unpack but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I pulled out some clothes and headed to the bathroom to get changed into them. Luckily my make up was still in here from yesterday. Once I was ready I walked out and over to the kitchen where Jaime was sat "I made you a coffee" I walked over to him and took a sip "Look I'm sorry I've been acting weird this week Jaime, there's just so much going on right now" he smiled at me "I know Dev, I just wish you'd open up to me a little more" I shook my head

"Jaime it's complicated" I picked up my phone which was still sat on the kitchen table where I'd left it last night. I was just going to go to the hospital alone but I felt bad "Jaime are you coming to the hospital with me?" I asked him, he looked up at me 

"Of course, what time was your appointment?" I looked at my phone 

"It's in an hour" he nodded

"We'd best go then" I walked into the hallway and pulled my boots on before following Jaime out to his car. 

I hated hospitals, sitting in the waiting room with all of these other pregnant women all looking happy with their husbands or whatever made me feel even lower than I already did. I tried to think whether I'd feel any different if the baby was Vic's. I would, it would be amazing and would probably make our relationship even stronger "Do we find out whether it's a boy or a girl today?" Jaime asked me and I nodded staring at a couple in front of us, their hands tightly interlocked and they were deep in conversation about something or other. A nurse came in and called my name out "Mrs Fuentes?" I closed my eyes and let out a breath at my last name being called out, that wasn't even my last name anymore as far as I was concerned I was a Taylor again. I walked into the room with Jaime following behind "Are you the Father? You must be Mr Fuentes then" I gritted my teeth together and Jaime just nodded before saying that that was correct. I shook my head at him as I laid down on the bed and the nurse proceeded to put that horrid jelly stuff on my stomach. I turned to look at the screen "Did you want to know the sex or not?" she asked me and I turned to Jaime before looking back at the nurse "Yes please" she smiled and I watched as the image came on the screen, I felt slightly queezy "Well it's a boy" I smiled at the nurse and then turned to Jaime who looked really, really happy and I felt so selfish because I clearly wasn't feeling the same things as he was "ok, everything seems to be fine" I pulled my shirt back down and got off of the bed, the nurse handed me some print outs of the scan and I thanked her before getting out of there as fast as I could. 

"I'm sorry Jaime I just had to get out of there" he nodded in understanding as I stood waiting for him to unlock the car, when he did I got into the passenger seat and waited for Hime to start the car "I shouldn't feel this way should I?" I announced 

"What do you mean? Of course you are meant to feel scared, it is scary" I sighed

"Not just that Jaime, I can tell you are really happy, but I'm not happy" Jaime continued to back out of the parking spot "It's understandable Deven, you've not long been divorced and we both know that this wasn't supposed to happen but it did and there is no way of stopping it, we just have to keep going" I sighed and lent my head on the door, I was glad that Jaime was so understanding about the way I was acting but it didn't make me feel any better.