afraid to love [j.u.]

11. i'm sorry

Jazmin's Point of View

"he likes you" alya said, her eyes widened after she realized what she said.

"wait, what?" i asked.

he likes me? but why would he like a person like me?

"nevermind i-i um we need to get to our spots." she stuttered.

"no, alya. tell me what you said." i said sternly.

"jesus likes you."

"b-but no that's i-impossible!" i said.

"it's true though!"

"no, it's not!" i yelled.

all eyes were on us. we ignored the subject for the rest of the day.

- after school -

i was walking out of the school and i saw jesus standing there. waiting for his mom, i guess.

i ran up to him and said, "hey!"

i've decided to ignore the fact that he likes me-if it's true anyway-and just proceed to be friends.

"oh... hey, jazmin," he said as he scratched the back of his neck.

"you wanna come over?" i asked.

"um, sure. you're not mad about what happened in math?" he said uneasy.

"let's just forget about it. forget about last night, this morning, and what happened a hour ago."

"sounds good to me. let me just call my mom."

after he called his mom, we began to walk to my house. i caught myself wondering how joel is.

"you think your brother is gonna be there?" he asked breaking our silence.

"i'm not sure.. but i don't really care anymore. i don't care what he does it's not my problem anymore. i thought he would change but i guess i was wrong"

"but you can't just not care about your brother anymore, jazmin. no matter all the stupid things he does, you always have to love him."

i took in what he said because all of it was true.

"yeah," i sighed, "you know what, jesus?"

"what?" he turned to me and smiled.

"thank you, for everything." i smiled.

"don't mention it. that's what best friends do, right?"

"of course," i smiled again.

once we got to my house, we went to the kitchen. to get something to eat.

"welllll, we have ice cream" i said examining the fridge for something to eat.

"i'm fine with that."

"okay."

i took out the big tub of cookies-and-cream ice cream and took out two bowls. once i put the ice cream in the bowls, we went to the living room and started to browse through netflix.

"you wanna watch... clueless?" i asked.

"sure" jesus said as he took a spoon full of his ice cream.

i clicked on the movie and got in a comfortable spot. just as the new girl, tai, arrived, jesus spoke up.

"have you ever had your first kiss?"

i was shocked by this question. the answer is no, i haven't had my first kiss, but, the real question here is why would he ask that?

"no, why'd ya ask?"

"uh-i um... was j-just wondering."

confused, i put my attention back to the movie. i felt jesus' eyes on me. i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do. this is really uncomfortable, but i continued to eat my ice cream.

Jesus' Point of View

stupid! i'm so stupid! why in the world would. i ask that question! ugh! i hate myself.

i caught myself staring. i can't help it. she looks so cute n' innocent eating her ice cream. when she finished, she put her bowl on the table, keeping her eyes focused on the movie. i honestly don't even know what's going on. all i know is that it's about this girl named cher, and her 'daddy' is a lawyer.

a couple minutes passed, and now i feel sudden urge to kiss her. but i don't even know how to
kiss! i've never kissed anyone and she hasn't either! i found myself putting my hand on her chin  and making her face my way.

we stared at each other for what seemed like a while now. my eyes gazed down to her, soft, plump lips. i leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. what was i doing? her hand went on my chest and pushed me away. her head hung down.

she pushed me away but i wanted more. i crashed my lips onto hers again. my body collapsed on hers. i grabbed her waist, tightly.

"j-jesus.. s-stop" she said as she pulled away.

i pulled away and i realized what we were doing.

"i-i'm sorry i didn't mean to-"

"jesus i think you should leave, please"

"i-i'm sorry"

_________
yikessss!!! what do you guys think will happen next? honestly this was really bad and so hard to write😭☹️
- jazmin :-)