afraid to love [j.u.]

26: just us

jesus' point of view -

"jesus get up and put a shirt on!"

it was my mom. why the fuck is she calling me and telling me to put a shirt on? shit. it's 12 already. i groaned and got up. i rubbed my eyes. i glanced at the mirror, my cheeks were stained with dry tears. ahh fuck. i heard a faint knock on the door.

"come in." i said.

i looked over at my door and my breath hitched. jazmin was walking in. i don't know why but i'm scared. i quickly covered my chest with the duvet. no wonder my mom told me to put a shirt on. but why did she let her in?

"hey.." she whispered.

i instantly felt my throat tighten. my eyes flickered over to where i threw my journal and pen last night. jazmin looked over to the floor. she walked over to my journal and picked it up, "why is this here?"

"don't touch that!" i snatched the journal from her small hands and held it against my chest.

"i-i'm sorry, j-jesus.. i-i just came to talk to you." she said.

"about what?" i choked on my words trying to hold back my tears.

"about grayson... we're dating." she said lowly.

two words were enough to break my heart. i saw it coming. i'm just so stupid. why'd i have to fall for her? i thought she'd fallen for me too. i guess i was wrong. so wrong!

"cool." i just said. i have no words.

"uh.. i'd thought it'd be better to tell you in person. i hope that's okay with you." she said.

"it's fine." no, it's not fine. my breathing quickens.

"can i ask you something?" she asks.

"anything."

i just realized that i'm still shirtless. i walk to my drawer and throw on a hoodie.

"are we still going to be friends?"

"sure." i say, it's better than losing her completely, i guess.

"do you want to go out and eat? maybe you can text alya if she wants to come." she says. i can tell she's hesitant.

"yeah, yeah, i'll text her... what time?"

"in an hour or two?" she asks.

"yeah that's fine... see you then."

she walks out. i sit down on my bed. my breathing starts to quicken again and tears are starting slip down from my eyes. i wipe them from with my palms and i grab my phone and go to messages. i look for alya's contact.

to alya💘; hey... jazmin came over . she left, but she wanted me to ask you if you're down to go eat in an hour or two ?

from alya💘; yeah sure. but are you okay with this situation? i heard about her & grayson.

to alya💘; hurts like hell but i'll get over it . we're still friends . and i guess that's good ?

from alya💘; you're not okay, jesus. i'm coming over in ten whether you like or not.

to alya💘; ohtay

i put on deodorant and threw on some ripped jeans to go along with my hoodie. soon enough, alya came over. when she saw me, she just walked up to me and hugged me. that lump in my throat came back, but no tears were there.

"what's on your mind?" she asked.

i didn't feel like talking, so i pulled away from the hug and walked over to my bed. i grabbed my journal and handed it to her. i took a deep breath as we both sat down on my bed.

mutters escaped from her lips as she read my writing. as she flipped to the page i wrote from last night, i felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest. a minute later she closed the journal and looked at me. alya stayed like that for a couple of seconds until she hugged me tight. now there were tears, i was sobbing.

"i'm so sorry this happened jesus.. i'm so sorry." alya whispered.

"i-i think she's just scared of her real feelings, jesus. it's not your fault. don't ever think it's your fault. it's her decision and... we should respect it."

i pull away from the hug, still holding o not her waist and whisper, "i-i know but it's h-hurts so much. i-i don't even know why.."

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we are all currently sitting at a restaurant booth. alya is next to me and jazmin is across from us. we all ordered already so now we're just waiting on our food. it was awkward. none of us were talking. the front door opens and alya gasps. grayson was standing there walking in our direction.

alya took out her phone and she was texting someone. as grayson sits down next to jazmin, my phone buzzes. it's a text from alya.

it read; i thought it was just going to be us?

i looked up at her and i shrugged my shoulders. i looked over at jazmin's direction and they had just pulled into a hug. i looks down, tears brimming my eyes. alya saw and she put her hand on my thigh and rested her head on my shoulder.

hey guys! i hope you liked this chapter. don't forget to comment and vote! 🖤