afraid to love [j.u.]

15. heart beat

Jazmin's Point of View

we sat on the couch with me in the middle, and jesus and alya on the other sides of me. we were currently watch a movie on netflix, while eating popcorn that alya made.

i was sitting uncomfortably between them. i haven't said a word to jesus. but that's because i can't. what would i say?

"j-jazmin?"

my heart stopped. i looked towards him and he was looking at me with pleading, glossy eyes.

"hmm?" that's the only thing i could say.

he looked into my eyes, searching for something. i noticed that tears were brimming his eyes. he did nothing, but just stare at me. and i stared back. i don't know why, but he hugged me. he hugged me hard. he'd started to sob. i didn't know what to do but hug him back, lightly. my t-shirt was now getting wet with jesus's tears.

he'd stopped crying, but his breathing was still a little fast, and he was shaking. jesus and i have been best friends for a long time now, but not once, i've seen him cry like this. of course he has cried before, many times when he was stressed with school, or had family problems, but not like this.

he slowly let go and i looked him, worried.

"s-sorry.." he sniffled.

"w-what's wrong?" it's the first thing i've ever said since we kissed.

"i miss you, jazmin." his voice cracked.

i didn't know what to say. i miss him too. i hugged him again. then i started crying.

"no, i should be sorry.. i'm sorry i was avoiding you like that but i was scared. i was scared about ruining our friendship. i miss you too, jesus ulloa." i whispered.

"i love you" jesus said.

i was going to say something but then alya said, "yay! we can finally hang out together! group hug!"

alya was always enthusiastic like this. we all hugged and laughed. we made more popcorn
and watch more movies.

after about three hours, alya left, and it was now just jesus and i.

"i'm sleepy," i whined.

"come on let's go upstairs."

he stood up, but i stayed there stretching my arms up. it was another way of me telling him to carry me upstairs. he grabbed me from my waist and lifted me up as i wrapped my legs around him and rested my hand on his shoulder.

he carefully walked up the stairs and we heard a door opening. it was coming from joel's room.

"hey guys" he said.

"hey," i said quietly, "what have you been doing?"

"nothing much. i tried reading, but i got bored."

"i told you you need to get a book that interests you!" i told him.

"yeah yeah whatever," he rolled his eyes, "anyway, what is this?" he pointed at us.

"we forgave each other," i smiled into his chest.

joel smiled, "okay guys i'm going out. i trust you guys not to do any of that nasty shit."

i quickly lifted my head, "what? where are you going?" i asked worried.

"i don't know.. i guess i'm just taking a walk. i need fresh air to think."

"oh.. okay" i trailed off.

"okay well, bye guys." he said.

"bye," jesus and i said together.

he walked into my room, and slowly laid me down. he then crawled into my bed and wrapped a blanket around us.

as our eyelids we're getting more and more heavy, i laid my head on his chest. i noticed that his heart was beating a little faster than normal. i didn't mind though, i liked hearing his heart beat.

•••
hey guys! sorry this is a short chapter and i haven't updated but i've been busy. i might be able to update this week since i have no school.

- jazmin💫💫