afraid to love [j.u.]

19: just afraid

entry #1

She's just afraid. I know she is.

She can do whatever she wants, but there is this weird pounding feeling in my chest.

I could hear Alya telling me things but I'm not listening.

I might just be more afraid than she is.

To her, I think it's going to be like meeting a whole new person, and I know she's not very good at doing that.

When I first met her, I didn't know why she did certain things. I didn't know why she mumbled a lot when she would talk.

I then knew why she mumbled a lot. If she actually goes to this date or whatever, he'll probably be like 'what?' or ask her to speak up.

And she'll probably still mumble, because that's just the way she is.

I am kind of scared to death.

I'm scared he'll bring up something that reminds her of all the bullies.

Of course it wouldn't be on purpose, because he barely knows her to know about that.

But she'll probably smile through it, even though she wants to break down at that moment.

I know she's strong. But I also know that sometimes she can't help it.

She'll breakdown.

And he would not know what to do, because he barely knows her.

short chapter, but my favorite by far💘