Catching you

5

Haley Scott

Today I wake up with a smile on my face and for the first time this school year I am actually looking forward to going to school. I wonder if yesterday's afternoon will change something for Jason and me. I really hope so, because he seems to be a great guy and I find myself wishing he would be my friend.

After taking a shower, brushing my teeth and putting on a little bit of make up I find myself in front of my closet. I never really put much thought into my clothing choices. When Dean and I started dating he often complimented me for my clothes, but since he now does so rarely I do not really take so much care with what I wear anymore.
Today I decide on a white sundress with a light blue jacket. It somehow gives me confidence and I am sure I will need that today.

Dean texted me yesterday asking why I left and I could not bring myself to tell him the truth so I just said that I did not feel well and I did not want to interrupt them dancing so I just left. However, I know that today I have to face him.

Before I went to sleep yesterday, I tucked my little brother in and although he treathens me every time that if I tell his friends that he still gets tucked in, I think it is cute and I just love it.

"When's Dean coming over again?", Matt asked me when I finished reading him a story.

Taken aback I look at him, because I never thought that Matt actually liked Dean. Whenever Dean was over Matt would avoid him like the plague. First I tried to include Matt more in our free time plans, but he made it clear that he did not want to join us. Dean was never really faced with Matt's refusal. I, however, would have loved it if my boyfriend and my brother got along, but I did not want to force them.

"Ah.. I don't know. He has a competition coming up and is practicing really hard for this.", I tried to explain to him.

Matt just nodded his head as if he had expected this answer. When I started to stand up from his bedside to turn off his light, his little hand found mine and he whispered: "I don't like seeing you so sad anymore."

Surprised I looked at him and he said: "It's because of Dean isn't it?"

I did not know how to answer his question, because my 12 year old little brother is exactly right. It is Dean's fault that I am not my usual cheery self, but I also want to respect Dean's choices and of them was dancing, so was it really his fault?

"You're right. I have to talk with him tomorrow.", I admitted to Matt.

"Are you going to break up?", Matt asked instantly and again I am shocked by his curiosity.

"I..I don't know.", I whisper and lower my head.

As much as Laura tries to convince my that it is the best thing for all of us, if I just break up with Dean I cannot find the strenght to do so. Dean is my first serious boyfriend, my first serious kiss, my first everything. I do not want to end our relationship, because of my struggles to not be jealous. There was a time Dean made me so happy, I could barely stop smiling, but since he is into competitive dancing he and as a result our relationship changed. I really want to work things out, but I do not know if he has the time to do so as well. Dean will probably just brush it off and say I should not worry so much.

"I think you should!", Matt stated matter of factly and I had to smile a bit at him.

He looked at me frustrated and said: "You think I don't understand how much you like him, but I do! It's just I don't think that he is good enough for you!"

I looked seriously at him and wondered out loud: "Is this the reason you don't like Dean."

Matt nodded his head solemnly.