Catching you

21

Jason Taylor

Right now, I honestly think that if I just had been brave enough to ask Haley out a couple of years ago, she would have never ended with Dean. I am mad at myself that I let it get this far, because I could have prevented that. I could have prevented Haley suffering and worrying and letting her get hurt. However, I was too cowardly, a trait I will never let come between Haley and me again.

"Can I ask you something?", I want to know, feeling that I already pushed her with my last question.

"Anything.", she tells me smilingly not seeming faced by it.

"Why did you agree to date Dean?"

"Hmm let me think a bit about that.", Haley says and I immediately know that if she still is in love with Dean she would know the reasons instantly.
Another voice in my head tells me that if Haley still has deep feelings for Dean, she would not have kissed me today.

Instantly I have to smile at the memory. She kissed me! It was on my cheek and not as planned on my lips, but that was more than enough. The spot, where Haley kissed me still tingles and it felt so amazing when her soft lips connected with my cheek.

I am somehow glad that we did not kiss in class today, because I want our first kiss to be special. I still want to know more about Haley before I ask her, what she feels for me, but I know Haley has feelings for me and for now that is enough.

"I think everything started with the letter Dean gave me. First I didn't know it was from him, but I could tell whoever wrote that letter was insanely brave and definitely worth to get to know better. I can't remember how I knew it was Dean, but that is how everything started. We went on a date and got along well, so when he asked me if I wanted to become his girlfriend I was delighted.", Haley tells me and I feel like the rug was pulled out from under my feet.

I have not thought about the letter in a long time, but one thing I know for sure: The letter was from me!
I was always too shy to ask Haley out personally so after having a crush on her for a very long time, I wrote her a letter telling her how much I like her. I stupidly never signed it so she could not know from whom the letter was. I remember always trying to sit next to her in class so that Haley could see my hand writing and realize it was me, who wrote the letter. I even left a piece of paper in the class on time hoping she would see it. However, Haley never did and I figured that my letter never reached her. It was a possibility, because I just stuck the letter on her locker, so everyone could have taken it. Soon after that Haley started dating Dean and I tried to get her out of my mind ever since. As you can see it never worked.

Now I am able to see that Dean, however, managed to talk Haley into believing that the letter was from him. WHAT AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING IDIOT!

I want to face palm myself inwardly, because that proves once again that Haley actually belongs with me since a long time.

"Do you want cookies now or later?", Haley sweetly asks me and when I do not answer her, because I am torn between telling her and never speaking of that damn letter again, she decides: "You're right. We should eat some after studying as reward."

She then walks out of the kitchen and I can do nothing but to follow Haley upstairs into her room.

I instantly notice that a few pictures surrounding her mirror are missing and choose not to tell Haley about the letter. Dean hurt her enough already.

We start studying and after one and a half hour I start to think that Haley is actually smarter than me.
I began to explain the math problems to her and after showing Haley how to solve them she instantly got it. We changed roles as we get to harder problems and Haley is the teacher now explaining to me how to solve the problems.