Catching you

8

Haley Scott

„Mom, I'm okay!", I try to calm her down but she is in full mother mode and wraps me in a tight hug, where I can barely breath. Her brown shoulder-length hair tickles me and and I breath out a sigh of relieve, when Matt, my little brother, comes rushing into the hall.

 "What happened?", he wants to know immediately and his blue eyes look expectantly at me.

I try to smile at him, but still being hugged by my mom does not really make it easy.

"Dean broke up with me.", I tell him and strangely enough it does not hurt so bad to say it out loud. It still stings and I do not think this hurt will go away any time soon, but I already accept Dean's decision.

Matt stares at me wide eyed and asks: "Why did he do that?"

Mom shoots him a disapproving look and finally lets go of me. To make sure she does not hug me again any time soon I take several steps away from her and walk into the kitchen where the heavenly aroma of spaghetti and meat balls is coming from.

"Matt, don't ask your sister something like that. It's very inconsiderate!", I hear my mom trying to explain to my little brother.

Then both of them enter the kitchen as well and mom tells me gently: "I'm here for you if you want to talk, sweety!"

"Thanks mom, but I think I'll tell you guys what happened, when dad is home as well."

Although I accept Dean's choice, I do not want to relive the moment he broke things off again and again. The feeling of unworthiness and not being loved in return are still present. I am really glad that today is friday and I got a whole weekend preparing myself for the next week and probably seeing Dean again.

My mom nods understandingly at me and continues preparing dinner. When I ask her if I can help her with anything Matt interrupts us and wants to play with me in the garden.

My mom tells me I should go and spend time with Matt and that she will call us when dinner is ready.

"What happend?", Matt wants to know the instant we are alone in the garden and out of my mom's hearing range.

I smile softly at him and say: "To be honest I don't really know. He just told me this morning that he doesn't want to be with me anymore."

Matt rolls his eyes and tells me: "What a douche!" To emphasize his frustration he kicks a small stone into mom's flower bed.

I giggle at him and reprehend him gently: "Don't say that! Honestly I think it was time for us to end things. You even told me yourself that you didn't like Dean!"

Matt nods his head and admits: "But I thought you would break up with him and not the other way round."

I laugh at that and he continues: "I just can't see why he doesn't want to be together with you anymore."

I shrug my shoulders and say: "I think Dean already knew that for a long time. but what I don't get is why he didn't end things sooner, but now I'm glad he did. We don't fit into each others world anymore."

And that is actually the harsh truth. We grew apart when Dean started dancing and the truth is, I let us. I am sure there were a lot of things I could have done to prevent it from happening, but either I did not realize it or I was okay with that. I know that Dean could have made an effort as well, but dancing was more important. I did not realize until yesterday that dancing became instantly his number one priority, but Dean was still mine. Now it seems unfair to me that I had to suffer for so long, but the truth again is, it's my fault as well, because I let it happen. I was so caught up in the idea of Dean and me being in a relationship forever that I did not realize what was directly in front of me.