Life is hard 😘

Doubts

She found she couldn't stand and listen to Emma as she discussed her hen do and her wedding arrangements. It wasn't that she didn't like Emma, she did. But she had found herself thinking of how she felt when they'd kissed all those months ago and she wondered whether it could have lead to something more.

He was drunk, it was his stag night and he'd drunk more alcohol than he could remember in a long time. His eyes fell to Connie, who unbeknown to her, was sat in the corner of the same bar finishing a glass of wine.

"Don't tell me he lets a woman like you drink alone?" He asked, sitting beside her and slipping his arm around her shoulders,

"Michaels been called in," she smiled, "I'm surprised you're still standing... Well speaking,"

He smiled, cuddling her too him, "how are things with Michael?"

She shrugged, "if I'm honest I'm enjoying having someone to share a bed with again... But I can only bring myself to have sex with him in the spare room and I don't think it will last forever,"

"But you're happy?" He asked and she smiled.

"I have two beautiful girls and that dog... Of course I'm happy," she told him honestly.

"Come on... Let's get you home," she told him, handing him some water and telling him to drink it.

"Jacob," Cal smiled, "we thought you'd fallen asleep somewhere... Let's get a cab, were too old for all this all day drinking,"

"It's alright, Connie's here... I'll catch a cab with her."

He fell asleep in her bed that night, she lay awake on his chest as his hand ran up and down her back,

"What are you thinking?" She asked him, "you're no more asleep than I am,"

He gently pressed his lips to her hair before he took her hand and linked his fingers with hers,

"How did you know that Sam was the person you wanted to spend your life with?" He asked, "you don't have to answer that if I'm going to upset you... I shouldn't have asked you that."

She moved so she propped herself up on her elbow, her other hand still entwined with his own.

"It started as lust," she admitted, "an attraction that wouldn't leave us alone and then we fell into this routine where we'd fall in bed with each other after a hard shift and then it didn't even taken that," she admitted, "I fell pregnant with Grace and the smile on his face was enough to tell me that he wanted a family with me," she shrugged, "He was a great father to our girls, "I could tell him anything and he had the ability to make me mad and make me happy within a few minutes... I used to watch him at work and it was like he only had eyes for me,"

She exhaled, "I didn't know if it would last forever... I don't know if you ever truly know that... But I knew that he was the only man I wanted at that time in my life, and no one else had come close."

She felt him slip out from underneath her a few hours later. She waited for ten minutes before following the direction he'd gone in and found him sat on the ledge outside the Blackfoot.

"Do you love her Jacob?" She asked, handing him a cup of tea before sitting with her back against the wall, her legs outstretched in front of her.

He sighed, "yes... I love her but am I really in love with her?" He shrugged, "I don't know... I'm not getting any younger... She's pretty and smart and fun... I can't really say anything I dislike about her,"

"But it's not mad, passionate, extraordinary love?" She asked, showing him an advert in a magazine that said exactly that,

"Aren't we too old to be looking for that?"

She shrugged, "I don't think so."

They drunk their tea in silence and she finished hers before standing up and kissing his cheek, before placing her hand on his shoulder, "I'm heading to bed... Are you coming?" He nodded, following her up the stairs, smiling as she popped her head into the room to check the girls were asleep.

"What happened to no dogs on the bed?"

"Shut up," she smiled, 

"I don't know if I can go through with marrying her Connie," he told her, the wine making him bold and honest and she lay back against him,

"You've been drinking all day and you don't need to be making such decisions right now," she told him, snuggling into him as he pulled the covers up over them, "but if it's not what you want Jacob... You need to tell her."