HaHaHa

Ch34 - Monster

Ch34 - Monster

I ran as fast as I could, Ivy would understand. At least I had hoped she would. Our last night's conversation had gotten me wondering as I decided to run back, like I always did, he needed me I knew it. It was almost as if he was calling my name and as my mind came back into reality I had realized I was staring at a old, rotting away door.

Against the midnight blue sky the house looked just like any other in the district, white brick with a peaked roof of slate. In the daylight it's state was more apparent like I'd remembered. The bricks were of another era, not solid white like the others but swirled with other hues giving the two storey dwelling a mottled look. The window frames were not the ubiquitous plastic of the estate not far away, but wooden with large flakes of white paint lying like dandruff. I found the lack of reflection in the windows peculiar. I almost laughed. There was no glass, of course, why would there be? I knew the place was old, but now I wondered when it was abandoned and why. It would take capital to fix, a hundred thousand or more, but the walls were still firm and the roof only needed a patch. Gutted and redone it could be quite fine.

This is where our humble home was. Could it be that he was still in here? or did he move like we always did after a couple of days?

There was only one way to find out.

My hands had pushed on the door feeling it's lumpy surface and I bit my lips as I entered into the house in the middle of the empty road.

No sounds.

No movements.

No nothing.

I felt eyes on me before I could even blink and knew exactly who it was. "Harley?" His green hair smelled faintly of shampoo as he leaned into me. He quickly licked his lips my breath hitching at his presence next to me. He circled his hands around me and held my body in his arms, rocking me from side to side. He faintly smiled, wich sent a shiver down my spine. I knew I was in trouble when his sparkling green eyes met mine and they seemed to smile evilly. "How didja get out of Arkam toots?"

"Well y'see I got-"

                                  Something was wrong. "Puddin'?"

He didn't bother even looking at me and dropped his cold hands, his smile dropping as he shoved me away. "The weed got you out didn't she?"

"How did ya-"

                         "Shut up you dumb little twit! I didn't ask for you to reply did I?"

"No sir."

"That's what I thought." His lack of eye contact should have warned me, it wasn't natural to avert his gaze from one he loved. Does he? It gave me distance from my heart and soul, enough to allow the mean behaviours and the power trips he craved to make me realize. In those moments I felt dehumanized, made just another part of his life to be controlled, to perform a function he required. Mistah J, it hurts. It hurts more than any physical pain I've endured and I've had my share.

He was prepared to struck me but stopped staring down at my broken state. "If equal love cannot be, let the more lovin' one be me." I whispered my head handing low.

"Why would you stay with a monster like me? I don't care what you'll be or who, you have to understand one thing Harley you are mine, my property so you'll always come back to me no matter what." He sighed his lips twitching at my gentle touch on his shoulders.

"Yer not a monster J. And anyways, I've never been afraid of 'monsters' per-say. I do believe they exist, I just don't think they are furry and live under my bed and in my closet. Ya see, I knew a monster once. In fact, I loved 'im. He played baseball with me, and he spoiled me with lots of gifts. He had deep brown eyes, and a smile nearly identical to my own. I thanked God for my very own monster, every night. My monster didn't have sharp talons. The only thing sharp about him was the knife that made some of theses gashes on my skin with. My monster wasn't green or purple. He didn't even like purple; That's why he made me have all of the purple on my arms. My monster didn't come out and scare me after I had fallen asleep. No, my monster only scared me when he came home. My monster gave me bad dreams too though, so I guess there is that. But I didn't make my monster leave, like the case with normal childhood monsters. No, my monster made me leave. My monster didn't want me anymore, so he made me go..." Tears welled up in my eyes.
I had to explain to him that he was no monster, he was just a fallen angel making his mistakes.

The nausea swirled unrestrained in my empty stomach. My head swam with half-formed regrets. My heart felt as if my blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. My melancholy mood hung over me like a black cloud, raining my personal sorrow down on me wherever I went.

And then he touched me.

He stole my breath and the heat from my skin. Suddenly my defenses were just paper, paper that was being soaked by the rapidly falling briny drops. Before I could draw in the air what my body needed I had melted into his form. I could feel his firm torso and the heart that beat within. His hands were folded around my back, drawing me in closer. I could feel my body shake, crying for the missed time we will never make back, crying to release the tension of these days that had passed.

He pulled is head back and wiped the tears with a calloused finger, even this roughness brought more relief than my heart could hold. He was eating me with his eyes, running his hand through my hair, as if he couldn't quite believe I wasn't part of an almost forgotten dream and that what I mean was true.

When he kisses me it was sweet, gentle, and it tasted of my tears. I wanted to speak but all I could do was croak, "Don't go, not again." His mouth painted a soft smile and he nodded once before folding me in his arms again.

Suddenly I felt weightless and I had realized that he had scooped me up in his strong arms and began to carry me to the bedroom. My head rested on his shoulder and my nose grazed over his broad shoulders as I kissed them gently. The next instant I was dropped on the bed.

In the darkness our cuddles felt like a little touch of heaven, warm, together, cozy. "My dad used to beat me up pretty badly like you already know." He whispered and I felt his stomach moving as I held him tighter nodding. I wished I could have extended the night just so I could have stayed close to him for longer, safe in his embrace. "I understand you Harley-girl. But what bruises the most is not him." His arms wrapped right around me bringing a peace I've never known before, a calming of the storms in my heart.

"Then what puddin'?" I soothed questioning him.

He sighed slowly "If you stay with me I'll kill you bit by bit. That's what I do to those who love me. Why, I'm not altogether sure. But when you soar high I'll drag you down. I'll stir up your anxieties just to be the one to soothe you and help you to find fault with anyone that competes for your attention. This is about as fair as I can be, it's your warning. So if you're still here in the morning you've chosen that life and if you know me at all you'll realize this isn't a joke. So, my smitten Harley Quinn, you have some thinking to do."

It's him that gave me hope for the future. In his embrace I started to believe that there was nothing out there to fear, that all there was was sunshine, beautiful trees and kind people - friends to be. But then he left, before the sun fully rose in the sky and I had to stand alone again, without him. His cuddles were the only medicine I needed, they were the light in the darkness, a lone star in an otherwise empty sky.

I had made my choice.