How Can I Still Want This?

29 16 10
                                        

Riley's P.O.V

All I want is Maya. I miss our friendship. I miss when we didn't fight over stupid boys. I miss when she didn't try to fight me.

I feel broken after all of this. I'm supposed to have a perfect life as Maya would say, why do I feel like this then?

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The next morning I wake up. God, my stomach hurts so bad. I think I'm gonna puke.

I run to the bathroom just in time to make it to the toilet. My mom rushes in.

"Honey, are you okay?" She pulls my hair back for me as I puke my guts out.

When I'm done, I get up and quickly swish some mouth wash around my mouth.

"Yeah, sure. I'm fine, probably just something I ate." I look at myself in the mirror and try to assure myself I'm okay.

"Stay in bed and rest Riley. I'll make you some soup okay before I head to work okay? There's no way in hell you're going to school today."

My mom wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. "It'll get better, okay?" She whispers into my ear. She runs her hand through my hair before leaving.

I know she's talking about the shit with Maya and I. And no, it won't get better. I get back into my bed and sigh. I just wish everything went back to the way it was in seventh grade.

God, why am I such a dreamer? How can I be satisfied with Lucas when the girl I miss so much still has feelings for him?

Why am I like this? Why can't I just face reality?

I guess Maya was right.



I've always been like this. Pretending I was in a little fairy tale where everything ends up perfect.

Too bad I'm not the princess and Lucas isn't my prince.

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