If I Could Fly // H.S.

Twenty

Grace takes him back, knowing that I'm too unstable to be his doctor right now. He was barely home at all and now he's back. Why would Grace send him home if he obviously isn't okay? I put my head in my hands and rack my brain on what could have made it worse all of a sudden. On our way here, a malar rash showed up which isn't a good sign. A malar rash is a butterfly shaped rash over the cheeks.

I thought he was doing so well. He must either mask it really well or this has gotten bad quick. I want to go back to see him but I know that Grace is right, I can't help right now. My mind is running in circles about all of this. Before I can sink deeper into my thoughts, Scarlett and Lucas are by my side.

"Hey... how are you doing?" Scarlett sits down next to me and gives me a hug. At that moment I burst into tears. I feel awful, I didn't know anything was wrong and I should've paid more attention to how he was feeling. I know the signs I've seen are bad, but I try to push the thoughts back until I KNOW that is what is going on.

"Victoria, can you come back real quick?" I hear Grace's chirpy voice. I nod and walk to her as I wipe the tears from my face. She doesn't say anything as she walks me to Harry. We get to his room, which happens to be the same room he was in before and I see that he is asleep on the bed.

"How is he?" I ask as I walk to sit beside him on the bed. I run my fingers through his hair and study his malar rash that has decreased slightly.

"It looks like his Lupus has now gone into Lupus Nephritis. He has a high fever and the rash so we did a urine test and it confirmed kidney damage. Luckily he has no need to stay in the hospital, we just have to keep him tonight to run a few tests." I let a tear slip down my cheek before turning to Grace.

"Okay," my voice cracks. I mean to say more but my voice fails me. She nods and walks out. I know that keeping him on good medicine can keep him away from anything really bad but it still worries me. I lay myself onto his chest and cuddle up by him. After crying for a few minutes, I drift into sleep.

I wake up on a picnic blanket in a park. I get up to see where I am and see Scarlett standing by the lake. I walk to her and tap her on the shoulder. She just looks forward and doesn't acknowledge me.

"Scar?" I ask while waving a hand in front of her face. I turn around and see that everyone is frozen in place. I find myself wondering where Harry is. I see the hospital across the street and walk in. Suddenly everyone starts moving when I walk in and I go to the front desk. "Harry Styles, please?"

"Have you not heard?" She asks while looking up at me.

"Heard what?" I ask confused.

"He died this morning." The world starts to spin above me as the floor opens up and I fall into a black hole. I land in a dimly lit room with a rocking chair and a man sitting in it. I walk closer and see Harry in it, dead. I scream and try to leave the room which has no doors.

"There is no escape!" A voice comes from all around me and I fall to my knees bursting into tears. I hear the voice laugh, mocking me. I look back up to the chair and see that it's empty.

"Leave me alone!" I scream into the darkness and run to the window that has appeared. I try to open it but it won't budge. I try again and again with no luck. Suddenly the floor drops and I jolt awake.

"Ahhh!" I scream sitting up in the hospital bed. I put my head in my hands and start to cry.

"Baby, are you okay?" I hear Harry's groggy voice as he pulls me into him. I woke him up. I try to respond but find myself at a loss for words. I lean into him and try to compose myself. He kisses my temple and pulls me in closer. "It's okay, I'm right here."

"Don't leave me," I cry into him as he holds me.

"Shhhh, I won't leave you. It's okay sweetheart." We sit there for a while until I finally calm myself down. Scarlett and Lucas come in for a while and talk with us. Once they leave, I go back to Harry's to grab some stuff to stay overnight and clothes for Harry for tomorrow.

The drive gives me time to think, but I drown it out with music. I find myself singing along to every song which lifts my mood a little bit. I know Harry will be okay but the dream I had really shook me up. The only way this could kill him is kidney failure and the medicine can definitely keep that from happening. I have nothing to worry about.

I pull in to Harry's driveway and get my things together before going to get Harry's things. When I get to his room I take some time to look at the pictures he has in his room. There's a few of him and Gemma, him and his mom, the boys in One Direction, and the one of him and I smiling in front of the statue. A smile automatically takes over my face as I pick it up. That was our first date, if I can call it that. Next to that one, I see a picture of me looking at the ocean on the bench we sat on when we were on the island. I didn't even know this picture was taken.

After looking at the pictures some more I go to get some clothes for Harry. I grab a light blue t-shirt that has a pocket, black jeans, white converse, and a beanie. Surprisingly, he has other shoes than boots. I pack it all up before heading back to the hospital.