If I Could Fly // H.S.

Thirty-Five

I wake up and see Harry asleep on his bed. The sun is out so I check the time and see that I've only slept for a few hours which is surprising considering how long I was awake. I try to fall back asleep but my mind doesn't let me so I get up and head down to grab some lunch for Harry and I. I see lots of doctors run by me but think nothing of it as I continue down the halls. As I click the elevator button, I'm paged to Harry's room. I quickly run to his room and see that there is a hoard of doctors surrounding him including Scarlett.

"What's going on?" I ask over the commotion and push through the doctors. I gasp as I see him hooked up to more than he was before and Scarlett pulls me into the hallway.

"It's gonna be okay," Scarlett says when we're in the hallway.

"What do you mean? What happened?" I ask angrily since nobody can explain to me what is happening.

Scarlett sighs before looking back at me, "Harry got an infection from the incision, it spread through his body and caused him to go into a coma."

***

"Hey Harry, I don't know if you can hear me or not but I miss you. I hope you wake up soon because life is so much less exciting without your dorky jokes," I chuckle to myself as I look down at my feet to compose myself.

"You doing okay?" I hear a voice behind me and turn to see Anne standing at the doorway with a little smile.

"Yeah," I send a small smile her way before looking back down.

"You don't have to stay here all the time, you know?" She walks to the chair next to me and sits down.

"I want to be here if he wakes up," I look back up at her and then at Harry. He looks peaceful but I feel bad considering the amount of things he is hooked up to. It's been a year since the day he went into a coma and I still rarely leave the hospital.

"I miss him," I hear Anne whisper although it's barely audible.

"I do, too," I say as a hot tear streams down my face.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but his brain is barely functioning. We can't keep him like this much longer..." she drags the sentence on as she has a few tears drop as well.

"I know," I whisper as I lay my head on her and let myself cry into her shoulder. We stay like that for a while until we run out of tears.

"I think it's time," she wipes her tears and looks over at Harry, "I don't know how much longer we should keep him like this."

"Should we let everyone know?" I grab Harry's hand and wipe my eyes as well.

"I'll have Gemma and Robin take the first flight over, your family is more than welcome to come as well. I'm going to grab something to eat while I'm out. Would you like anything?" she asks before standing up.

"I'm alright, thanks though," I halfheartedly smile as she nods and walks out.

"I guess this is the last day I have with you. I wish I could talk with you just one more time. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through life without you. You've been everything to me since we first met and now here we are a year and a half later and I'm saying goodbye. I wish it wasn't the real goodbye but I guess dreams are only made for sleeping. I promise to always remember you, not that I would forget you even if I tried. As some say, all good things come to an end. Even good people. I'll always love you and nothing can change that. You're everything to me, Harry. I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything to help, I would've made sure you were perfectly healthy. I guess I couldn't have done anything to help but if I could go back I would've found a way. I miss you, so much. Please don't leave me," I finally let myself break down fully and collapse on him sobbing.

I am gently pulled awake as I am laid on Harry's chest. I look up and see that the family is here to say their goodbyes and I quickly stand to hug each of them. I figured the tears wouldn't be able to keep coming, but I was wrong and they continue as I try not to think about the live of my life being gone from my life completely. I leave the room and find myself in the bathroom on the floor. My mind is in shambles as I lay sobbing on the cold hard floor. I don't lay there long because I'm sure they may be waiting for me.

I pull myself from the floor and look in the mirror. I don't even look like myself anymore. I look tired, exhausted even and my face is soaked with tears. The fact that I'm officially losing the guy of my dreams crushes every single part of me. I wipe my eyes again and walk back to the room. The walk is short but extremely hard. Everyone is waiting outside the door in tears for the doctor to remove his tubes which will stop his oxygen which should be quick and painless. That's how I would want to go, no pain and fast. I walk into the room one last time before the doctor arrives and sit on the bed. I let one last tear slip and kiss his cheek gently. He is still as flawless as he was before and I know if he could see me now he would be happy I got to see him once more. The doctor walks in with the rest of the family behind him and I stand up, walking back to stand with everyone else. The doctor quickly removes each tube until he reaches the oxygen tube.

Just as he is about to take the tube out, Harry opens his eyes.