A Shade Darker ✔️

{Chapter Thirty Six}

Sleeping Alone

July 10th. 2017

Ashley

I didn't know whether I was angry, hurt, embarrassed or scared. Correction, I didn't know which one topped the list. I knew I did wrong, I knew I had lied to him, deceived him...but I was going to tell him eventually. I had planned on telling him about Billie, but everything happened so fast and I was made out to be the bad guy. I had been sorry before, but then he grabbed me, pulled me to the ground and beat my ass with his belt like I was some child.

It hurt to sit down, I had cried for hours and I still couldn't breathe through my nose. I felt exhausted among other things, I felt defensive and...scared.

The door to the bedroom squeaked open and in reaction I was quick to sit up as I watched Mike trudge into the room and flip on the light. Everything looked normal with him, despite the lack of conversation he was making since earlier today. I winced when I sat up, watching as he took of his jacket and threw it across the back of the vanity chair. Then his shoes and I felt confused and angry.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask, hating the way my voice was scratchy from screaming; crying. Hated the way it sounded weak and on the verge of breaking.

I stared dumbfounded and at the least surprised at him.

"It's been a long day, I'm coming to bed" He answers, his eyes not meeting mine as he began to untie one shoe.

I grasp the blanket tighter around me and hold my head as high as I could muster.

"Sleep somewhere else. I don't want your company" I expected him to start an argument, to at least fight back or give me some kind of scowl or mumble under his breath.

But he took the other shoe off, gathered them in his hands and sighed. He took his jacket and draped it over one arm before turning back towards the door.

I wanted to be happy to see him go so easily, feel relieved and free of burden. But I only felt more emptiness, more hurt, and even more scared than before. What if Billie showed up tonight?

I only knew one thing. That if he did show up, then I would have more than just a sore ass by morning.

Mike

I lay tossing and turning in one of the guest beds, feeling cold and alone without the company of my wife. But how could I feel that way? Surely I didn't feel bad for beating her behind, it was the punishment she deserved. The equal punishment that anybody else would've gotten had they done the same her. And I knew that Ashley would do it again if she didn't learn from her punishment.

She lied to me, hurt me and deceived me. Why had she not told me she chose to let my brother free from the prison? He was a criminal, had tried to suck her dry more than once, so why would she do it? All for that stupid garden! She needed to be smarter than that, more loyal and faithful to me. She was my wife, she took vows. And now she's broken one of them.

But there was more hurt in my chest, hurt from having to beat her. Her screams and cries killed me, made me want to stop and I did at number ten. I watched the smooth pink skin of her bottom swell and turn red after the belt had been smacked across it.

And now she does not want my company in bed, even to lay motionless while I slept next to her. Could I blame her? Surely not, right? But what if she did not love me anymore? What if she would never forgive me?

What if Billie came back? What if he would try to hurt her?

I guess tonight would be a night without sleep.