A Shade Darker ✔️

{Chapter Sixty Two}

(I listened to "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars and Stay by Rihanna for this chapter)

Stay

April 4th, 2018

Mike

"Wait..." I closed my eyes tightly and felt them burn from the remnants and oncoming of old and new tears.

I stared across the deck of the ship, watching the far shadow of a man at the wheel, making sure the boat was going in the right path all night. I watched the water lap against the side of the boat and could only look down when the door pulled and my hand fell away from the knob.

"I never said that I didn't love you. But if you want to believe it, then go ahead. But I gave your ring back for a number of reasons" I turned at her voice and had to keep my step in place, for she was so close to me that our chests were nearly touching now.

"Then list them!" I barked, "List the reasons, because I'd like an answer. A wife just doesn't had her husband back the ring"

She held her head high now and I knew that it had begun again. Our game, the less fun version.

"I never should've been your wife in the first place, if you remember I was forced to marry you! I didn't marry you because I wanted to. Secondly, as I remember you had said that I was to be treated as just another man among the crew. A man doesn't wear a female ring, he doesn't have time to worry about anyone but himself and his duties. So I gave it back. Why should I have kept a ring that I didn't want to a man that I no longer wanted to be married to?" I raise an eyebrow, the dim flame from the lantern barely lighting the room and shadowing half her face.

"You didn't want to be married to me? Why not? We've had fights before, and I believe you left me once-"

She rolled her eyes, sighed and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Another thing that was done against my will. And this wasn't just a small misunderstanding we had. This was serious. I take half credit, alright? I'm sorry, I went behind your back. And I said things that maybe I didn't mean. But it always hurts when you say it back to me and treat me like I never even mattered to you..." She breathed in a deep breath through her nose but I couldn't miss the weakness in her voice and her eyes that turned glossy.

"I went with that man back at the enemy ship because I thought if I could get a weapon then I could come back for you and get us out. But you just sat there and gave up, wouldn't even listen to me. And when I came back with the knife you pressed one to my neck instead, planning your own escape. And it didn't include me..." She took a step back and turned away from me, stalking towards the bed and running her hand across the blanket on the mattress.

I took a step into the room and closed the door behind me. I shoved my hands in my pockets and felt the cool metal of her ring still in the pocket of the pants she had washed. It startled me at first.

I walked over to the chair in the corner and sat, rocking myself and watching my boots.

"I get it...I do." She turned and looked over her shoulder at me as I said this. "I'm sorry...I never should've said any of those things to you. I was caught up in my own anger, and when they took you...I was so scared, so devastated when you left the cell. I thought they would kill you. It's true..." I watched out of the corner of my eye as she wiped her Bose on her arm but her chest continued to rise and fall unsteadily. "I didn't come back with the knife to find you and escape. I got out of the cell with the knife to go kill the men who had taken you...I already thought you were dead. And back in the lifeboat, I knew that if you had stayed home that you wouldn't be in this mess and you'd be safe"

She took a step towards me, kneeling in front of me with watery eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"You don't think I would've risked my life to do it again for you, though?" I sighed deeply and leaned forward in the chair, our faces inches apart.

"You're always doing unpredictable things. Getting yourself into trouble and danger-"

"And having you come save me from it every time. It's just this time you taught me that I had to take care of myself once in a while"

The air was silent for a little while and she sighed deeply, laying her head hesitantly on my knee as if she didn't know if I'd run or not.

I felt hesitant, too, debating to touch her familiar hair in my aching fingers that had dreamed of being with her almost every night, sleeping alone and cold without her.

"Pretend that we were never married-"

She lifted her head, the tears dry from her eyes.

"Why would I do that? It's being married that got us into this mess in the first place"

I put a hand out.

"Just do it. Pretend that we were never married, but you've known me this whole time. Just as a friend, or someone close" She lifts her head again.

"What's this about? I'm confused"

"I want to give you a choice. If I were to ask you now, pretending that we had never been married before, would you marry me now? By your own choice, but not by force?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"You...you're asking me to marry you? Now? Here, on a boat in the middle of the ocean? After I hated you? After...everything?" I nod, wishing that she still had the love for me deep down in her heart.

"That's ridiculous! What you're asking makes absolutely no sense at all..." She stood, scoffing and walked across the room, her arm crossed over her chest and the other one at her mouth to bite her nails.

I sat on the edge of the chair, the silence deafening. After a moment I stood from the chair with my heart heavy as lead.

I placed my hand on the knob, ready to leave. But I heard her turn and then her behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and she kept a serious face as she grabbed my hand and spoke softly.

"But even though it makes no sense, and completely irrational-yes. Yes...I'll marry you. I'd marry you if we weren't married before, and I'd marry you if we were" I reached in my pocket and she gave me her hand.

I slipped the ring on her finger and she hugged me hard. Tight against her trembling chest.

We pulled away and she touched my face, her eyes wide and still looking sad.

"Mike..." my name left her lips softly, weakly almost as she ran her hand up my cheek.

I leaned my face down to hers and touched our noses, my hand on her hip.

I blinked and a tilt came to her lips.

"You missed a spot..."