Stan's P.O.V
It was a dark and stormy night when I open the door and see a tourist coming up the drive. "Well, hello there, traveler. I see you're car broke down on this lonesome country road. A place so remote, that NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM!" I yell. The person starts to back away. "Pretend I didn't say that." I try to calm them down. "Come in, com in, but be warned: if you enter, you may be subjected to my tales......... TALES DESIGNED TO SELL MY MERCHANDISE!" I tell them, then start laughing maniacally. "Sorry, I was thinking of somethin' funny I hear earlier. You've come to the Mystery Shack after hours. A time when the most cursed objects are for sale! Like that thing! There..." I gesture to a lump of random body parts that are groaning. "Nope? Not a fan? Too many orifices? Alright, I can tell what you're looking for is this," I pull out a hand from a chest. "disembodies hand! Why is it so expensive? Well, quite a tale. And it's called HANDS OFF! No seriously, hands off," I grab a glowing reptilian eye from the stranger. "that's not for sale. Alright......."
Third person's P.O.V
Hands Off
The Mystery Shack family are all walking through the swamp meet. "Swamp meet, swamp meet, swamp meet! Look at all these priceless treasures! Bobbly heads!" Mabel runs over to merchandise and flicks them. "They agree with everything I say."
"Professor glasses! They make me look like a genius!" Dipper turns around and crashes into the glasses rack. (Y/n) runs over to help him up, and glares at Stan.
"Look at these fauz-gold beauties! They're mob boss quality!" Stan sees the elderly woman that is selling the watches. "Okay, kids. Prepare to watch the delicate art of the deal. Hey Hagface! How much for he junk watches?"
"They are not for sale! NOT FOR YOU, STAN PINES! THE WIND WHISPERS YOUR NAME!"
"Shush, you guys!" Tyler Cutebiker whisper-yells to a bunch of wind chimes.
"Alright I get it, you're creepy. Anyway, less talky, more watchy." Stan puts down some money and takes a watch. The hag grabs his arm, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY WAAATCHH!!" She yells.
Stan pulls away from the woman.
"AAH! YEESH! Freak show!" He and the kids walk away.
"Wow. Someone needs to work on their social skills." Mable says, cringing.
"And their observation skills." Stan shows them his wrist, which has the watch on it. "BOOM! Good job, heisting hands." He kisses them.
"Grunkle Stan, are you seriously shoplifting from a witch? That sounded like a curse." Dipper says.
"That sounded like a curse!" Stan mimics. "Hey, anyone want a wet blanket. We've got a wet blanket for sale." Stan mocks Dipper. The whole swamp meet, excluding Dipper and (Y/n) laugh at the boy.
"I can't survive in this market..." Toby says while tending to his wet blanket booth.
"I have a bad feeling about her." (Y/n) whispers to her boyfriend.
"Yeah, I know, but Stan won't believe us." He whispers back.
~Next Day~
(Y/n) and the pines twins wake up to screaming, knowing what it means, (Y/n) grins, "Knew it." She mumbles. At breakfast, Stan is bringing the kids some eggs, with oven mitts over his wrists.
"Alright kiddos, breakfast time. Prepare your mouths for-" he drops the frying pan and the mitts come off showing his hand-less arms. The twins scream in fear while (Y/n) snickers.
YOU ARE READING
Before the Storm (Dipper x fem!reader)
Fanfiction(Y/N) gets abandoned by her parents after a month long trip to California. She doesn't know why they did this to her. Everything was fine at home, then this happens. Sorry this is my first time doing a story, let alone a reader insert. Highest ranki...
