Janiel Oneshots (Discontinued...Again)

12. Alone (Fluff)

I include Manny in this oneshot and I just want to say I have no hatred toward him. I apologize if you like him and it comes across that way.

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(Daniel's POV)

This isn't good. I never thought I'd be back here. Why am I back here?

Hold on. Let me explain.

I was diagnosed with depression at age 7. I know...young. My parents, however, shrugged it off as if it was nothing. They thought the doctor was crazy and left me without the proper medication...left me to suffer. No one in my family seemed to notice my drastic change in character. Not noticing that I was either always in my room or silent in the corner. The only person I thought noticed was my cousin, but she always seemed to turn the situation around so it'd somehow be my fault and she was the victim. Definitely not trustworthy.

A month before my seventeenth birthday, I met someone. Someone who always seems to be there for me, always saying the right things and pushing me to talk when necessary when the moment is right. This person is Joey Graceffa. My new neighbor. One problem, he's in college while I'm a senior in high school. Because of this, I'm left alone most of the time with no one to talk to. I have other "friends" but they're just using me for things. Joey seems to really want to get to know me, the real me. Not the fake persona I put up with my family and those at school. Joey seems interested in me, knowing me.

Today is one of the darkest days of my life.

I'm trapped.

I'm trapped in my own mind with all the doors deadbolted and superglued shut. All the lights are off and I'm left alone and depressed. Here's the biggest problem. I'm at my aunt's house while this is going on, and my cousin is with me. To not bother her with my issue (because she obviously doesn't care), I walk out of the house without a word. Soon a five-minute walk turns into ten minutes...then twenty...then thirty. Soon I'm out for an hour just walking around my town. My phone is buzzing in my back pocket with text messages but I don't focus on that. My mind is elsewhere. People look at me strangely as I walk by, some bumping into me while others steer clear of the weirdo with his hood up and earbuds in. Before I knew it I was on a college campus. Not just any college campus. Joey's college campus.

Knowing where his dorm room is, I walk straight toward it. Knocking on the door repeatedly, I wait anxiously for someone to open the door. Joey finally answers "hey Dan-holy shit what's wrong? Come in! Come in!" I sit on his floor with my knees pulled up to my chest, he sits beside me rubbing my back. "Daniel, I need you to tell me what's going through your mind right now. I'm here to listen." Looking up at Joey with watery eyes, I whisper "I feel broken." He raises an eyebrow "broken?" I curl up against him "I feel like I've spent my life giving pieces of me away. Away to my parents, my cousin, my so-called "friends". After all that time, I feel like I'm left with not even a tiny shard of me left." I have never told anyone something this deep before, I never thought I'd be this low before.

Joey stayed silent, knowing I didn't want a conversation, just someone to listen. "I feel like there's a light switch inside of me and somehow it's been permanently stuck in the off position. I don't even know who I am anymore. I was over my aunt's and I just felt like a ghost in there, not even caring about what was going on around me. It was so blatantly obvious to those around me, my uncle came in asking what was wrong with me. As if I was crazy. You don't think I'm crazy do you?" Turning my head to face him, Joey shakes his head "you're not crazy. There's nothing crazy about feeling depressed. I may not have known you for a long time but I know that there's something going on and it's making you feel as though no one cares. I just want you to know that I'll be here for you, I care about you. I may not understand what you're going through, but I'm willing to listen. I know you're feeling alone right now, which is probably why you left. I will make sure that you never feel isolated, not with me."