A Song Of Winter And Spring: Poetry depicting heartbreak And happiness

I'll be your clown

Pinch your cheacks
and put color on your lips,
Match the tone of your skin
to the masks, be carful or it slips.
Crack a plastic smile,
painted on with witt,
Keep your face
neatly arranged, cigarette lit.
Smoke and mirrors
are all part of the show,
Watch me now,
let's see how far I go.
Mechanical and stiff
movements disguised by grace,
Even a well trained eye is fooled,
Keep your laughter light,
Damn these high heels for height!
Am I a robot now?
My voice is monotone,
Even when I say the perfect thing,
Somehow I'm still alone.
I can't find a reason,
Nor find the perfect word,
I say it all correctly, 
But it all just feels absurd.

No one will remember,
My glittering visage,
Raven hair turned white the cause.
Rusted limbs and bigger pills,
Our decay means
beauty was only skin deep,
Pop a pill one after another,
Keeping mind numbing pain at bay,
This was the only way.
Dust to dust,
Ashes to ashes,
Now then I lay.