Broken and gone// Chris Schistad (book 2)

Chapter 28

Amelia couldn't sleep that night. She lied awake and stared at the ceiling, she missed the familiar feeling of a body next to hers. She wanted it so bad she almost felt it. But she knew it wasn't real. He was gone.

She thought back to the nights with him in bed. She wanted to be back with him in that time again.

"Chris? Chris?" Amelia shakes her boyfriend. It's around 1 am and Amelia just woke up. "Chris." She whispers again and he finally stirs. He turns to face her and his eyes open slowly, squinting at her face.

"Amelia? What's wrong?" He yawns. His eyes finally adjust to the light after he's rubbed them. He looks at her with concern.

"I just had a dream." Amelia says. Chris laughs lowly.

"Care to elaborate?" Amelia rolls her eyes at Chris's sass.

"It was about you." Amelia smiles. "It was a good dream, mostly."

"Mostly?" Chris asks now paying full attention. Amelia adjusts herself so she's comfortable and sighs.

"Mostly.." She starts. "It started like this. In bed, just morning. We were waking up in the same bed but it wasn't this bed. You kissed my nose and told me 'Good morning beautiful."

"I'm a pretty great guy."

Amelia hits his chest laughing. "Shut up and let me tell my story." Chris laughs and nods moving a piece of hair out of her face.

Amelia begins again, "and so, I smiled and kissed you, getting out of bed. I got dressed in a professional outfit, like I was some business woman."

"You are."

"Chris I will slap you if you interrupt me again."  Amelia points a finger and him and he chuckles.

"Go on." He nods.

Amelia rolls her eyes. "You got up and got dressed too, we were both like a business power couple. Then I looked down at my finger, and there were two rings on my left ring finger." Amelia looks up at Chris who's face hasn't changed from just listening. "And the rings were an engagement and wedding ring. And I didn't know how to feel then. I didn't know what to think." Amelia says and Chris grabs her hand. She looks up at him and he nods to continue. "I didn't have much time to think though because my dream self  started for the door and went downstairs. In the kitchen there were these, children. And, they looked like us." Amelia looks up into Chris's eyes. "They were ours." She smiles despite herself. "And again I didn't know how to feel. You kissed me goodbye and said 'have an amazing day at work honey.' The kids followed you out the door, each one kisses me as they went. And then I was alone in the house for a moment. And I thought, what's going on? Then I moved for the door with my purse and keys, to go to work, like it was so normal, everyday...." Amelia trails off and bites her lip to signify the end of her dream.

"I know where the mostly is coming from..." Chris begins looking into Amelia's eyes. "..but to me, that all sounds perfect."

Amelia nods knowing it he would say that. She now feels bad for not liking her dream fully.

"But," Amelia look at Chris. "I understand the fear. I'd be lying if I said it didn't scare me to settle down, to have something real with someone." Amelia nods. "But the thing that makes me less scared, is the idea that I could do it with you, and equally scared person." He laughs. "Someone I love, and can imagine spending the rest of my life with, no matter how far away that is."

Amelia smiles and leans in to kiss Chris softly once. "I love you too."

"Anytime." Chris kissses her once more.

"I'm not as scared anymore. To be with you forever." Amelia says yawning afterwards.

"I'm glad." Chris smiles. "Go back to bed, finish that dream for me." He says touching her chin. Amelia nods and settles in, she was ready for her dream to continue.

Amelia still couldn't sleep. She felt like if she slept she'd just remember the night again, like PTSD. She didn't understand how it could ever get easier like she heard everyone else say to her. She knew herself that if it were someone else in her position she would say the same thing, 'it'll get easier', but how?

Her own words of wisdom she'd use didn't make any sense to her. She didn't understand how something like someone you loved dying ever got easier. How being alone ever got easier. She thought it just got harder. The more you thought about it it got harder. The more you ignored it it got harder. Everything was hard, nothing was easy.

She wanted so badly for it to be easy. But Amelia knew that it would never be easy, that was a lie. Sighing she rolls over in bed.

Maybe, maybe it never got easier like everyone said. Maybe you just learn to deal with it and you become a little numb to it. It's always hard, you just get better at hiding it. Or maybe, maybe it got better, but not easier. You felt happier and moved on, but it would still be hard to think of the one you lost.

Amelia had to hope for the latter. Of the first thought was true she didn't know what she'd do as a human being, numbing the pain like she used to, not feeling. She wanted to feel. As much as what she felt right now hurt she wanted to feel. It reminded her that she was alive. Chris may not be alive but she was.

Amelia Mohn may be alone, but she was alive.

Hello guys! So glad y'all like my story honestly :)

I'm currently working on an original work rn that'll come out after this book is finished so if you only read fan fiction I'm sorry the next book isn't for you :(
But! If you like my writing and want to give it a shot I would love that :)

Remember to like, comment, share, and love!