him •jack avery

20

Grayson POV

I stood up and walked to my bedroom. The guys were still downstairs but I didn't care. I shut my door and flopped down on my bed. I felt my eyes well up and I let it all out. I cried so loud. I just cried and cried and cried.

There were no words to describe how horrible I felt right now. My dad was a horrible person. My mom had to deal with him everyday for YEARS and I was oblivious to her pain. All I cared about was my friends, music and sports. I never stopped to think about how she felt. I always assumed she was happy.

Thinking about this made me cry even harder. I was such an ugly crier. I heard a soft knock at my door and  ignored it. "Hey gray baby, are you okay? Please let me in. I can hear you crying"

I just sobbed into my pillow and ignored his knocks. I didn't want anybody to see me like this. I didn't normally break down like this. I guess holding it in for so long just finally made me snap. It was all coming out now and it was ugly.

"Baby I know you're upset, please let me in"
"Grayson please, let me help"
"Fine, I'm just gonna sit against this door until you let me come in."

I heard Jacks body slide down against my bedroom door. Crap. Why wouldn't he go away? I wanted to open the door so bad but I didn't want to drag Jack into my problem. It wasn't his fault this was happening.

After another hour of crying, there was another knock at the door, followed by Corbyns voice.
"Hey Gray, we know you're not okay, I understand if you don't want to talk, but I'm here if you decide you do"

It was silent for a few minutes then I heard Zachs voice. "Please let me in. I'll let you call me Babyface for as long as you want" Then Daniels "Grayson London, you're my best friend. I just wanna know that you're okay" and finally, Jonah "hey gray, I got you some ice cream, you just gotta open the door and tell us what's wrong."

I mumbled "go away" softly and cried louder. This was all my fault. He never wanted me. If I wasn't born my parents would've been happy. I heard the boys talking but I couldn't tell what they were saying. A few minutes later, my balcony door popped open and all five of them walked into my room.

They crowded around my bed and started at me with worried looks. I turned around and put my head back in my pillow. I heard all of them get off my bed and walk to the other side. They each sat on the floor by my bed and stared at me. I didn't wanna talk.

Jack stood up and got into my bed. He laid beside me and I sighed and put my head against his chest. I didn't wanna get tears all over him so I tried to stop crying. I had been crying so long I was at that hiccup stage. He ran his fingers through my hair and Daniel handed me a tissue. I wiped my eyes again and sat up.

"Will you please tell us what's going on" Corbyn asked worriedly

"Yeah, you're making me sad Grayson London" Zach frowned at me and said

"We're always here for you Grayson. We love you" Daniel said and I'll admit, I smiled just a teensy bit.

My eyes glistened with tears again as I told the story my mom had just told me. They listened, they didn't interrupt, they just let me try and talk. I'm sure they couldn't understand most of it because I was sobbing though. Jack had his arm around me and they listened as I told them how I felt.

"I feel like crap. Absolute crap. This is all my fault. He wouldn't have cheated on my mom if it wasn't for me. I'm such a screwup. I just HAD to do Piano, and guitar, and vocal lesson and dance and gymnastics and soccer. Why did I feel the need to do all those things? Because I'm a horrible person. I didn't think about how others felt. I didn't think about my mom's pain. I didn't think about how much money all this costs. I didn't. I should've but I didn't. You know why? Because I'm selfish. I'm a selfish little screw up. You know what? I kinda wish I wasn't born. I wish I wasn't born because then my parents could finally be happy together. How are you guys even looking at me right now? I'm such a horrible person.

"Okay first, you are no where near a horrible person. You're one of the kindest, sweetest most amazing persons I've ever met. You're not a screw up. You're an incredibly talented girl. I know for a fact that your parents are proud of you. You've accomplished so much in 17 years, I don't see how they couldn't be proud" Daniel said

"Grayson London. Don't ever feel like that. You're not a screw up. Like Daniel said, you're so talented and you've accomplished so much. Your dad cheating doesn't have anything to do with you. Don't feel like a horrible person because he screwed up. We love you and we're always here for you" Jonah said got up to hug me