What's So Good About Picking Up The Pieces?

Chapter 33; (Part 2/2)

We cuddled there for a while after, talking about what'd possibly be the solution to the problem I was facing.

"You'd make a pretty cute merch girl too." He winked

"You'd make a pretty cute boyfriend but I mean you're taken and don't want anything to do with a slutty merch girl."

He laughed a little. "You aren't a slut, you're perfect sh." He kissed my nose softly and took his arm from around me. He picked me up again and carried me to the back room, laying me on the bed. "Go to sleep."

"Huh?"

"Go to sleep girl!"

"Why.. what?"

"If I come to bed after this shower and you're still awake I'll be highly aggravated with you baby doll. You shouldn't be up this late, a poor sleep schedule is no good."

"Okay.. mom."

He rolled his eyes but came over and tucked me in.

"Can I get you anything dear?"

"No."

Vic placed a small kiss on my forehead and headed towards the bathroom humming.

"Baby." I called. "Will you leave the door open so I can listen to you sing?"

"I suppose."

I didn't say anything, I just smiled to myself.

Vic sang me to sleep that night.

I woke up that morning in bed alone. I figured Vic had run off for practice or something and just didn't want to wake me.

I mean, I suppose that'd be cute right? Even though Id prefer to spend every second with him, awake or not.

Vic was always thoughtful in that way I guess, he knew I wouldn't be able to come and that I'd be sad and I knew he didn't like to leave me lonesome.

I rolled over in bed and went back to sleep, dreaming.

It was back to the night of the Woe Is Me concert. The day I fell in love with the wrong guy, but met the guy I was actually meant to be with. But it was different, instead of falling for Andrew, I fell for Vic. This time Vic was the one that stole my heart. It started getting darker and gloomier. It was the day I tried hurting myself, Vic found me and harsh words I never thought Id hear come out of his perfect lips were flying at me. He told me how little he cared about me and that I was nothing.

Then I woke up. Vic was shaking me, telling me to stop crying. I was confused for a moment until I realized I had been having a bad dream. Dreams like this were a way my body told me I'm getting bad again or that I was making a bad choice or Im over thinking too much but, for some reason, I thought lightly of it. I used to have a dream book that I'd read, back when I was really bad and would do nothing but drink tea, blog, read and sleep. Most of my dreams were about wolves and murder.

I had read that seeing a wolf in your dreams can symbolize things like beauty and that you're a loner by choice. Or that it may reflect an uncontrollable situation or something that is beyond your control. I assumed that it was trying to tell me something but I could never interpret what. I had also found that dreams of murder meant you were trying to disconnect yourself from emotions, but also occurred during periods of depression. That made sense to me, it was logical.

This dream, however, I didn't comprehend. Was Vic going to leave me? Was he only with me because he felt bad? I am a nothing and he is a something. He deserved better, I was sure of it, but is it bad that a selfish part of me didn't want him to know that he deserved more? I cant figure it out. Don't they say- If you love something let it go, If it comes back to you it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was and it's not meant to be.- or something like that? Maybe I should let him go and find someone new, maybe he should let me go home and get back on track. There was barely any point of staying or leaving, there were only 2 and a half weeks of tour left.

Vic crawled into the bed with me and held me, I did not hold him back or answer his questions or take any extra breaths.... I just lay there, motionless, quiet, and confused and heart broken by my own thoughts. My mind was in a scramble. I could not decide what would be right or wrong at this moment. I was attached, too attached.

*So, im really digging this part because there isn't a lot of dialogue and I like the internal meaning behind it all. Ehh, idk. Keep reading, voting, and commenting. I love feedback!