Dear Mom,
I have written this many times but could never find the right words. Now I believe I have. Mom you have done so many things that should be unforgettable but I have forgiven you every single time because your my mother and I love you. Did you ever even want me? Really did you? My first birthday you weren't there. I know because I had dad tell me, I wanted to know. You decided alcohol was more important than your one year old daughter.
Though out my childhood you left Dad and I for stupid alcohol. You left your husband and only child. I'm 17 and I already know I could NEVER do that. You destroyed my whole life. I had a big house with married parents and I knew all my neighbors and friends on every kid on the block. I had a perfect life at the age of 7 and you took it away. Back in April you left me in Florida. That's when I snapped. You aren't even a mother. What mother would do that? I can't even fucking look at you, but I do somehow. You have taught me I can live without you because I did for awhile. Because of you I had to be more than a 7 almost 8 year old kid. I had to grow up faster, had to take care of grandparents and basically raise my 5 year old cousin all because of you. And that wasn't fair! You can say sorry all you want I don't even believe you when you say it anymore. That how many times you've said it to me. I'm tired. Maybe dad will play your games but I can't anymore. Nine more months I'll be 18 and you will have no power over me. I'll be an adult or matter what you say. Dad says I need you, that when he dies you'll be all I have, that's not true. I have my boyfriend and his family who loves me. My grandmother was more of a mom to be and she's been dead for 2 years. My friend's mom's are more of a mother than you. And I can't wait to get away from you. We don't have anything in common but the blood that runs threw our veins. You aren't supportive and only want your way. This is my LIFE. I want to have a relationship with you but it won't happen and I've been trying since was 10. Once I graduate we will have no contact. And I'll move out as soon as my 18 birthday and if I have to pack and and leave in the middle of the night, I will. I love you so I'm letting you go. If you get dad to pick your "side" then I guess I'll have to let him go too. It'll be much harder and painful but I'll get threw it.
I'll be the mother you never were to me. I'll make sure my kid(s) know I love them and will never leave them.
-Katie
