Since I've been out of college I've been staying with my dad and aunt.
I'm still 3 hours from my friends and where I graduated high school.
My mom decided 2 months ago to move down to Florida.
Which I don't care I just wish she would have talked to me about it like an adult.
Her moving was kind of the last straw for me.
I don't call or text her
If she calls or texts I'll answer if I'm not at work
I'm just done with her
That sounds awful
I love her
She's my mom
But that doesn't mean she gets to treat me poorly
She clearly doesn't want to be part of my life
And it's always been this way
Living with my dad and aunt is idk
I don't have my space or privacy
I have a really small room and most of my stuff remains in storage
I want a place of my own
I can't afford it
I babysit 5 days a week
12 years of school just to graduate and become a babysitter 😔
I don't make much either
And what I do make goes to my aunt for rent
Which is fine I just wish I made more
I feel trapped here
I do the same thing everyday
Like a robot
I go to work
Then come home
Eat, sleep, shower and repeat
Maybe there is something wrong with me?
I feel as if I died and my punishment is to live every day the same as the one before.
Like I have work at 5am
And it's 10:55 at night
I should be asleep
I want to be asleep
But I can't
But I'll still get up and go to work with no complaints
I'm struck in this never ending time loop
I'm sorry this is all over the place.
Like I said my emotions are close to the surface these days
My ex said I break everything I touch
It hit home HARD
I keep replaying it in my mind
He caught me off guard
Maybe because it's kinda true
If you've been with this book long enough you know why
I don't know why he said it
Probably to hurt me
Which it does
Normally I would've punch him or said something smartass back
But I couldn't
He's got issues of his own
And so do I
He was taking it out on me
Because I'm everyone's punching bag
I should really try to sleep
Bye guys have a good night
