letters to you。「yoonmin」{COMPLETED} (#wattys2018)

oo11。

day eleven:

i went to your
house but it was
a stupid mistake
because your father
shut the the door in
my face, ordering me
to get lost.

baby, i am sorry.
i knew what he did.
but i was too scared
to fix things or make
them right and now
you are dead because
of me.

please don't be mad
baby, im sorry for
being so cowardly, i am
very fucking sorry, the
thought keeps me up
late at night. and i
don't wanna live with
myself.

but i have to, right?
i have to be strong
even when i don't
want to be. i have to be
strong for you, right?

my chest hurts.
my body aches,
it feels like there's
a hidden poison
seeping throughout
my veins, slowly
killing me.

but in reality,
it's just truth
that you are actually
dead, that makes me
feel this way, that makes
this hurt and sadness
suffocate me.

i want the pain to end..

。。。

im sorry