Insecurities ~Hiro x Reader~

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Hello! I'm back at it again with the HiroxReader thangs, yes B) 

And since there's not a lot of school works this week, annnd um, i'm a lil in the mood for writing, so why not hehe lol

Oh and btw, Hiro and Reader are 17/18-ish in this oneshot. Enjoy! :) 

~

I wasn't really a girl who had a lot of guys like her. I'm an ordinary being, ordinary looks-- just everything in the box, actually. 

One could say I have a boring life. I know, it's boring. But at least I have my own and that's something I shouldn't complain about. Besides, popularity, the beauty and all isn't really my forte. You could say that "You're so pretty! I don't really get how you can't see it.", but in the end I'd probably just say a small thank you while not really believing that your words are true. 

The truth is, I didn't really care at first how I looked or whatever. I just look in the mirror and think that, 'hey, at least my face still looks presentable in front of people'. I grew up to be that person, and until now I'm still the same.

What changes my point of view, however, is the fact when a guy I like particularly enters my life and says that he likes me too. That's the only time that I'll care about how I look or how I dress like. Some girls would like to impress the guy they take interest to. And I'm of those girls. 

As my life moved along, a few guys have basically entered and left. The last time I checked, they've left me for the most stupid reasons, and almost all of them were the same. I couldn't get it why my heart wasn't still tired of liking someone. I should've stopped, but instead I let my heart carry on. 

On the verge of contemplating whether or not I should just stop hurting myself and taking interest in guys whom I know won't stay, a particular guy entered my life, unexpectedly, and showed me that I shouldn't really close my heart just yet. I'm still young, anyway.

Although the guy somehow sounds great at first time, my thoughts were flipped over when I found out about his past. Boy, if my past were about guys who leave me, then his past were about leaving the ladies that have taken interest in him. He plays with them like their feelings were toys, and sometimes, he manages to keep three of them at once.

Let's just say he wasn't really faithful. 

I was about to regret ever letting him in. My heart was too sensitive about such topic, and yet it still accepted the thought of liking him in return. If I hadn't known about the past that was buried in him these years, then I'd still be living in a fantasy where I now have this oh-so sophisticated guy. That guy that was what any girl had wished for. But nope, I was wrong. 

But then when he looked at me with those caramel eyes one sunny day, and awkwardly yet sincerely held my hands and told me the words I didn't expect to hear, I was convinced that I shouldn't really let this guy go.

"I know I have a horrible past, (y/n)." His lips told me, "And I know that sometimes, I don't quite give you your expectations, but I promise you, I've changed."

"Then prove to me that you did." I remembered how bold I was in saying it. "Prove to me that I shouldn't give up on you." 

And after the months that passed by, bit by bit I saw that he's trying so hard to prove to me his words. He showed me that he cared, and slowly I found myself getting stitched up with him. I realized that I've been completely drawn into him every single day, like if I didn't see him in this particular day I know that I might be haunted by sadness.

As the time we spent with each other got longer and longer, I've told him some things about me. Like how I'm not really proud of how I look. Like I said earlier,  I don't believe I'm pretty at all. To be very honest, I was surprised in the first time I found out he liked me. I mean, an ordinary girl like me? And a popular, good-looking guy like him? I didn't actually think about it. Yet, I'm still happy that I have him.

One day, though. Something snapped. Something hit me like a rushing train. And that made me lose my cool. 

"Hey, why are you crying?!" I heard his voice enter my room. I was crying on one side of my room, phone in hand, hugging myself as though I'm comforting my own body. It was shaking from the crying, and no matter how hard I tried it didn't stop. 

He carried me in his arms, and swept away the messy locks of hair that stuck on my face. "Please tell me what happened."

"I-I-I couldn't f-fight them," Struggling for breath, I honestly told him what I was feeling. And in an instant, he caught the point. 

"Shhh. I'm here now, (y/n). Please calm down. The voices are still weak, you can fight them." He carressed my hair, while I sobbed on his hoodie that was almost drenched in my salty tears. "What did they try to put in your mind again?" 

I told him one time that I got paranoid. My mind was trying to play games with me-- games that I'm afraid that I'm losing. He's the first one to ever last long with me, and so sometimes, my head would scream that one day he'll leave, he'll be like the others, and I'll be lonely again. I was afraid of that day; so afraid that even if he comforted me and assured me that he won't I partially don't believe him. And right now, I'm experiencing it again. I thought I could stop the voices, but in the end they won again.

"Hiro," Not wanting to explain any further, I just decided to tell him the things that my heart has been shouting for so long. "I know I'm not pretty," I honestly told him, and sooner I was beginning to be calm again. "I know I'll always be the worse choice, rather than those girls that surrounded you and had all the good looks,"

"But please, I beg of you. Don't ever leave." I sadly mumbled at him, making his eyes soften. Hiro hugged me tighter than usual, then patted my back. 

"I've been with you for almost two years, (y/n)." Hiro told me with his soothing voice. "Do you think that at this point, I'd still leave?" 

My mouth remained silent. He does have a point. So I only looked down.

"Hey, look at me." He ordered, but with a gentle tone. A few seconds later, I did what he told me. "You are pretty. You're amazing. In all of the girls whom I've carelessly dated, you were the only one who showed me respect and care. I don't really mind if you're like this, (y/n). Because trust me, I would feel the same if I found out I wasn't exactly the good boy."

"I played with hearts, I destroyed relationships that I've gotten bored with. But trust me when I say this-- in all of those relationships, this one I have with you is the one that I know I'll never forgive myself if I dare break it."

"It's okay to be insecure, but not too much, okay?" Hiro then planted a soft kiss on my forehead, his words preventing me to speak anything else. "Don't you ever let those voices beat you up. Because in the end? They're non-existent. They're all in your head. You can get rid of them if you want to. They don't have the right to be in control."

"And besides, you may think that 'you're not perfect'," One last time, he hugged me again, kissed me on the cheek this time. "But to me? You are perfect. Being you makes you the perfect person you are. And because you're you and not like anyone else,"

"You don't have to think about them at all. What matters is that, I love you, (y/n). Not them. You. I won't ever leave, I promise." 

~

What the heck is this oneshot? asdfghjkl should i delete this or nah? ;m; 

i'm somehow 3ggrd by how i write. i haven't written anything in a whiiiiiile. :< How did i do? 😂

just tell me if it sucked. i'd be happy to delete 😂

(this oneshot may or may be a.. vent. hehe -v-) 

ps- TY FOR 107K 💕💕

-Blaze



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