The Babysitter//Zach Herron

Ch 36- Stop 1: Starting the closure process

Christmas Day

After opening presents and eating a big family breakfast, Zach and I pack up the camper and head off on our trip.

Myta has told the kids and Mr. Herron that we need to go on this trip so that we can explore together and have a fun adventure before going back to work in LA...that is partly true.

We will be exploring, but it's less of exploring the actual landmarks, and more of exploring our hearts and finding closure.

The first stop is the Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado, a 14-hour drive from home.

"Ready to start this road trip?" I ask Zach while shutting my car door.

Zach nods and gives me a quick kiss before backing out of the driveway.

After 5 hours of driving, we decide to stop to get a quick bite to eat.

Around 5:30 we finish and I drive until we get to the trailer park at 10 pm.

We spend our first night in the trailer cuddled under the blanket on the queen sized bed.

"Wake up angel" Zach says. He set an alarm so that we could get back on the road by 7 am.

With traffic, we end up arriving at 11:30.

"Welcome to Rocky Mountain National Park!!" a male park ranger says as we enter into the large parking lot.

"Thank you!" we respond in unison.

Zach parks the trailer and we grab our backpacks to begin the hike.

"We should pack extra water bottles?" I say as Zach zips up his bag.

"Oh, good call!" Zach replies.

We stumble upon a sign pointing us the direction to a trail that leads us to the top of the mountain.

"Zach!! Look at the river." I exclaim.

We walk to the side of the trail and peer over to see the most beautiful rippling river.

It goes as far as my eyes can see.

"Woah." He responds.

We hike for an hour or so before reaching the top. We pass an older couple that is descending from the top.

When we reach the top, we find the perfect stone cliff to sit on.I reach into my backpack and pull out a letter I wrote.

The air is the perfect balance between cool but not cold. Just enough that I can wear a long sleeve shirt and a jacket without sweating or being freezing cold.

The sky is a vibrant blue and I feel like I could reach up and touch the wispy cloud passing above.

After 10 minutes of appreciating this natural beauty, Zach breaks the silence. "It's time y/n."

I look at him and he places his arm on my back. I begin to read the letter...

"Dear our little sunshine,

I never got to know what it was like to be your mom. I never got to change your diaper or listen to you babble, or even see you smile. I never even got to know if you would have been a little boy or a little girl." I begin to choke up.

"But that doesn't mean I didn't already grow a bond with you over the short few days we knew about your existence. We miss you terribly and will never be complete without you in our arms. We will see you someday my little angel." I say wiping tears from my cheeks.

I nod at Zach and he begins to read the second half that he wrote.

Learning that you existed was a shock, but not once did I ever question if we would be a perfect family. We feel so blessed to have even had you in your mommy's stomach for the short time that we did." He pauses.

"You would have been such a cool kid!" Zach says smiling and laughing as tears stream down his face.

We both kiss the letter before I fold it up and begin to rip it into small pieces.

"Are you ready?" I ask.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be." he replies.

We stand up and I open both my hands. The slight breeze carries the pieces of the letter gently down into the water, where the ink will bleed and our message will be kept between us and the whispering wind around us.

We spend the night in our trailer again.

"I know this is supposed to help us move on from our devastating loss...but I'm not sure if it's going to work, Zach."

I snuggle closer to him in bed.

"We have to give it time. There is no way we will ever be the way we were before all this happened, but we can find happiness again in eachother."

The next day we hike all around the park and see some pretty cool animals. Being here takes my breath away and really helps me appreciate the good things I have in life.

Since we are leaving early tomorrow morning, we try our best to see everything there is in this park. From hiking through random forests...to walking along the shallow lake that shows your reflection as clear as glass.

Stop 1, complete.

Time Frame: Arrive 12/26, stayed all day 12/27, left on 12/28

A/N- I am going to leave these time frames^^ just in case some of you get confused with what day it is while you are reading it ;))