Thoughts Inside of My.... Mind?

Mistaken

Maybe it's just me but I always kinda thought that relationships were about making each other feel comfortable and loved and... idk, like you've found your missing puzzle piece? Like, even though the outside world is fucked up, you feel like you could live forever and be content?

The media portrays love as being able to make someone feel complete. And from my experience... Well, idk. I mean, I feel complete. But maybe that's not how it is for everyone? I'm just.. curious. I want to understand what you think love is, and what you think love is capable of doing. I know that the media portrays things wrongly... so maybe love isn't about making each other feel complete? I always thought it was... but maybe I'm wrong? I hope I'm wrong.

I know that love can't heal a mental illness or make someone completely complete, but I thought that it could make people feel complete at least some of the time.

I'm just... trying to come to terms with the idea that love isn't what I thought love was, apparently. Like... I thought that love was something that linked two people, and that one persons love for the other could make them feel whole, even if they don't feel whole. That's confusing, I know. But I mean, if you mentally don't feel whole, at least you know you're loved and that's not going to change? So it's a sense of stability that makes you feel at least kinda content, even in the deepest despair. So even if you're losing your mind, you know that because someone loves you, it's going to be okay. 

I wish I could understand everyone better. I'm not the best at connecting with people, and then I'm really bad at asking questions too. I'm scared that I'll ask too many questions and I'll be annoying, but I know that I don't ask enough questions. I don't want to pressure anyone into telling me something they don't want to, so I don't ask, and therefore I don't connect to people. Even the people I love... do I really know them? I feel like I understand them, but maybe... Maybe I'm just telling myself that? 

To me, love is about understanding, or at least trying to understand. It's about providing a stable feeling that links people together, so even on bad days they still know they can go to each other, talk to each other, and love each other. Love is knowing that someone cares about you, and feeling like that's enough... 

But is it? That's what I'd like to think it is, but even I know that's not true. No matter how true it is or not... idk. That's just what I think love is... and I think maybe I've been wrong...

I always romanticized love as being able to make each other feel whole.

But... It should be a two way street? If one person feels whole and the other one doesn't.... can it be love? I want it to be. I'd change my definition of love to make it so. But if I do that then I'm just lying to myself... aren't I?

Maybe love isn't capable of what I thought it was...

12:02 am 7/14/17