Our secret { camren }

7. Turning page.

"I've waited a thousand years, id wait a million more."

Lauren's POV.

All this alcohol was a daze in my head, and all I knew that was happening that Danielle and I was very touchy. She started to lean in softly and slowly. Our lips pressed against each other. Her lips burned on mine. They weren't the soft and warm camilas. I didn't like this feeling. I hated it, it wasn't camilas presence. And I didn't want this, alcohol made me feel this way, and made me do the things I would never. I was angry in camila. And this is what I believed she deserved.

Camilas pov.

Standing outside in the cold made me think deep in thought. I know Lauren is mad, but she isn't my girlfriend, so she has no say in what I say or do. The things she says breaks my heart sometimes I get sick and tired of being a toy. I just wish she would put some title on this relationship of us. I can't keep being some toy that she can pick up anytime she wants and then lay back down when she's done. And I'm so tired of when I look at someone she jumps to conclusions saying I want to fuck them. And tonight, she actually admit she was inlove with me. And actually for a second there, I believed it. But I can't sit here and listen to lies.

I sit against this brick building thinking my mind away. A beer in my hand an nothing could get worse.

My mind whispers go get her. She will forgive you just as much as you will.

I take that advice and walk back into the club, I climb through the crowd.

I'm 10 feet away from the bar when I see Lauren's mouth onto another girl. Blonde hair and skinny and short.

I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and onto the floor.

I throw the beer bottle onto the ground. Watch the bottle break into over a million pieces. What a beautiful example of how I'm feeling.

I'm into a billion of pieces.

Lauren breaks her mouth from the girls mouth an glances over to me then turns her head. Then glances back again.

The girl looks startled from the previous event of me throwing the bottle.

"How could you!" I shout.

I storm off through the club, rushing to get out as soon as possible.

It feels like the club is caving in an the walls are getting smaller by the minute.

My breathing is becoming shallow.

I can't take this.

I hear small footsteps behind me, chasing me through the club.

I finally reach outside the club. I put my hands on my knees. Breathing in and out.

I feel like this is an never ending nightmare.

I feel like I'm having a heart attack. My chest is having uncontrollably chest pains, like a expanding hole in my chest. I feel like I'm going to pass out.

Lauren steps infront of my face.

A frown plastered against her face.

"I hate you, I never want to see you again." I whisper.

"I'm so hurt, Lauren." I add.

"So hurt." I mumble.

She sighs.

"I'm so sorry." Lauren whispers while putting a strand of hair behind my ear.

I smack her hand away.

"Sorry will never fix this, never." I slump against the building.

Is this what a brokenheart feels like? It feels like I'm almost dying, I can't breathe. And the image of Lauren kissing someone else burns in the back of my head.

I've never saw Lauren cry before, but I see tears falling out of her eyes, slowly but surely.

"God, I'm so fucking stupid and sorry, goddamnit." Lauren hits her knees.

I huff and wipe my eyes.

"I'm so hurt, I feel like my heart is into a million of pieces, and there is no way to escape this." I whisper.

We sat there in silence.

"we should stop seeing each other." I mumble.

"Are you trying to kill me? Seriously, I can't stop seeing you. I can't. You're in my mind, I see you when I close my eyes, I see you in my dreams, and when I see you in person I can't help but almost think this isn't real life. I don't fucking don't deserve you, but hell I'm so greatful to have you actually in my life. Have your existence in my life. God, I'm so deep in believing I'm some murderer and you pull me out of that, mil, you're my light. You're that sunshine I need. And Everytime I want to ask you out like relationship wise, I fail terribly cause I think you will reject me. Lord, mil. I'm so fucking inlove with the thought of you being mine." Lauren whispers.

"You just kissed another girl infront of me Lauren, for Godsakes, I'm so broken at the moment." I mumble.

She sighs and nods.

"Tell me to leave you alone, and I will forever." She mumbles, her voice so laced with emotion.

"I don't want you to leave me alone, just give me time." I whisper.

And grasp her hand.

"Okay." She nods.

"Okay." I whisper.

------------------

"If id only felt the warmth within your touch,

If id see only you smile when you blush,

How you curl your lip when you contreate enough,

I wouldn't know what I was living for, what I've been living for."

Turning page; sleep at last.

------

Brilliant song, love it so much. ❤️😍😭