Everything She Was (Sequel to After everything We've Been Through )

Birthday To Never Forget

I keep dreaming about her, I just want it to stop and her to go away, because every time I see her I just feel worse and I miss her more and more. I haven't been  able to sleep because of it, I think it's starting to mess me up, it took ten years to affect me but I think it has only hit me now because I'm older. Everything, feelings and when I really need her, I have Christina or Ella, or Sophia and Sydney but it isn't the same. I turned 15 today but I'm not happy cause it's just another year that she missed, two months from now it will be the anniversary of her death again, 11 years and how ever many days. You probably don't care about any of this, you just want to know if I said yes to Eli or not, I did.

We're good and his supper supportive and was there when I was crying in his shoulder, we both turned 15 actually. I'm leaving the house today, first outing in awhile, it feels good to feel the sun on my face, know that there's light outside and not just dark all the time cause I have the curtain closed. Autumn has been a bitch and when Eli's been  over we have to sit in the lounge room, we can't go into my own room.

Cause we're dating, not just friends anymore and Eli being one of  my only friends and Autumn watching our every move , it's hard to have fun when I'm home. I tell her several times nothing will happen, just because she probably wasn't the most sensible person when she was our age, doesn't mean I'm exactly like her. Eli, Emma, Mckenzie and I are going to the beach and after that we're going to Eli's house because mine is a hell hole at the moment. Even dad believes so and his coming with us over to Eli's so he can get away from Autumn, his own wife he wants to get away from. I put on a riffle bikini and bottoms, put a pair of shorts on and just a jacket, but put a top in my bag , dad and I walk next door and walk in, to see Christina and corbyn watching tv and Eli walks down the stairs and hugs me hello.

"Is Autumn coming ?"

"No, sadly she's not " I say sarcastically.

"I'm having second thoughts  of marrying her, every time Eli is over she makes B sit in the lounge while she is in there. They are not even aloud in the kitchen without asking. She isn't your mum, I give you permission to not listen to her bailey, you are free from the torture, just how there standing now, just next to each other there not aloud to stand that close" i just walk up to him and hug him. Out of anyone to be protective of me is my dad, I love my dad so much and he lets me have freedom, because he knows that he can trust me and that I'm not going to act out because I don't get my way, I expect that he has said no and I move on.

But when Autumn says no, it frustrates me. But anyway you don't care and there are more important things to talk .about, we start walking to the beach down the street, past the park and past the art wall that still to this day has what my dad put on it for my mum,  for her to go find him, no one ever spray painted over it. I class that has a big part of history, we arrive at the beach, set up and just go for  a swim stright away.

"Feels good to be out of the house and just get my mind off of things"

"I'm glad you feel better "

"Sorry I've been such a burden on  you " I play with some water and look down to him.

" you are not a burden B, don't think that for a second, I like the fact that you talk to me, cause then I know you trust me and that you actually want to tell me what's wrong. I know I can talk to you about anything, I want you to feel the same way. " He lifts my chin and smiles at me.

"Thank you Eli"

"When we get back to my house, I have another birthday present for you, It came in time"

"What is it ?"

"It's surprise and you'll like it hopefully"

"Okay, I'm kinda scared " 

A couple of hours later, after I've had a shower and gotten dressed, Eli and I are just watching tv in his room but he wants to give me his present.

" close your eyes, I didn't have time to wrap it and I don't want you to see it." I close my eyes and wait intill he tells me to open them, he tells me to open my eyes and I see a teddy bear holding a rose and wearing a sliver necklace with an emerald, I have a huge smile spread across my face and I'm blushing to the extreme.

"It's so cute Eli, thank you "

"I was worried you wouldn't like it "

"You know me better than anyone, did Christina help you with the necklace ?"

"No mum did not help, I picked it out myself " he smiles, taking the necklace off the teddy bear and askes if he can put it around my neck. Once it's placed on my neck I can't help but smile.

"I love it " I hug him

"I'm glad you do" we pull away slightly and stop, staring at one another and I look down to him, he raises my chin making me look back into the blue ocean  that is his eyes, Eli comes closer to my face and I bring my face closer to his and press my lips to his, kissing him softly.

"That's a good present too" I blush.

"I agree"

I just had my first kiss, I have butterflies in the pit of my stomach and I can't believe I JUST HAD MY FIRTS KISS, I'll be going to sleep with a smile that's for sure.