Everything She Was (Sequel to After everything We've Been Through )

Breathe

"Dad, can you drive me to school at lunch I need to talk to some people to help me with my music video for class"

"Um sure, well it's almost lunch so go put your shoes on and I'll get ready so we can leave"

I already had my shoes with me, so I just slip them on, I'm just wearing blue wash jeans, a white top and my checkered vans, it's my hair out. When dad comes back ready, we head off to to the school, I need to talk to one person , Taylor his a dancer, my old school, the halls I'm walking down right now yeah this is not only a normal school but a school for the arts. So there's dancers, singers, film makers, actors basically anything to do with the arts, that's besides the point. I find Taylor and ask him, he agreed to come over tomorrow to practice for the music video. Taylor and use to be friends, I use to be friends with a lot of people but that's changed, Taylor is also the person who kissed me, his a year older and it was a kiss that should have never happened. He owns me big time for kissing me, it's the one reason he agreed to dance with me and his the best dancer out of the whole school and I want my music video to be the best.

It's going to have myself dancing alone but Taylor comes along and we dance together,

but while dancing with each other we drift apart not being what we use to be. But even though we drifted apart we try to keep dancing together, it's still not working but towards the end we're one again but only because we're saying goodbye. Because I'm unable to breath and we started drifting apart because he was giving up on me, our goodbye was forever because I gave up and it wasn't easy for me to breath so I didn't. You could say it's about Eli and I but here's the honest answer it's not, I've been working on this song for a long time coming, sure some aspects of it is about us but some of it's about my mum and dad's relationship, there's one line and it's goes

"breath life into these lungs, or suffocate me"

Jack was keeping my mum alive, always being the person who would save her, but the accident with me, suffocated her and she found it hard to live life and breath everyday when I was on ventilator not breathing for myself. In a way my dad was breathing for the two of them. People weren't just giving up on her, she gave up on herself as well. Out of all songs I've written, this is the one that means the absolute world to me and the most vulnerable I will ever be when I record and dance to.

You could be asking why am I dancing in the video, that's because I can't rely on anyone but myself, to understand the story behind the lyrics and the music. They won't be able to feel what I feel and all emotion needs to be raw and heartbreaking. I've always danced , you just never knew it. I practice a lot I just don't ever talk about it but now I want people to see that I can be so much more then just a the pitch perfect singer, I want to be known for more then that. I want to express myself in a different way, not just by my voice but by the movement and expression created with dance. When I get home it's straight into the studio to record so we can practice some ideas tomorrow. I tie my hair into a messy bun, sit at the piano and start playing

Keep singing Bailey don't break down, you can do this keep singing.

When I press down on the last key, as tears fall, I just sit there blanked face not moving, notvsaying a word. But when I feel someone sit down next to me I look away but when a pair of arms wraps around me I look up to see my dad crying also. His never heard the song before so he had no clue what it was about but I think he caught onto it.

"It's beautiful Bailey, I'm really proud of you, and the person your becoming. "

"I love you too dad "

"There's someone here to se you " he gets up as Eli walks in sitting were my dad just was.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"I have to tell you something"

"I already know, your dating the new girl, even if we didn't break up, I could guess it though, don't say we can be friends because we can't. I've known you my whole life and trusted you more then anyone in this world, but I can no longer trust you Eli, people say that they will always love you but I won't. This is going to sound harsh but I think we should have never dated it ruined our friendship." I can feel more tears forming my only friend I've losted.

"I love you Bailey I really do and I'm sorry, I know I've made a mistake " he wipes the tears away with his thumb before leaving taking the shattering pieces of me with him. If he loved me he wouldn't have done that to me, he was the last person I thought would hurt me.

I don't want to sit around in my house being pity, I go to the park sit in the tunnel with my arms wrapped around my knees. To be honest I don't care about us breaking up, I care more about losing my best friend, even though I told him we can't be friends it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I keep reminding myself to just breath and not let myself suffocate, I've had a lot of visters today but the last person I thought I would see is Christina. I shuffle over so she could sit next to me.

"Eli came home crying wanna tell me why "

"Why do assume that it was me, his the one who cheated on me even before we were having problems. He kissed Emma and when he and the new girl was at my house cause they needed help for music, he told her I was his friend nothing more. A girl at my school said I should kill myself and he did nothing, I didn't just lose my boyfriend but also my best"friend "

"I'm sorry b I didn't know " she looks away.

"Yeah you didn't know so don't walk around all high and mighty when you have no clue what's going on, blaming me for what your child did. Everything not always my fault, I thought you care but " I don't even know what I'm saying, I'm filled with anger and hate, that I'm saying the first thing that comes to mind.

"I'm sorry "

"It's okay Bailey I know you didn't mean it, your upset"

I'm upset what's new

Telling myself to breath isn't working

Just keep breathing in rhythm each time but my breathing isn't in sync and I feel myself fading away slowly each day.