Everything She Was (Sequel to After everything We've Been Through )

First Live Show

Tonight's the night, the first live show, we have to perform after a trady, Eli thought about walking away but I convinced him to stay. That night he knocked on my door, and I wished Taylor didn't leave I'm glad he did. A lot Was said and did that night, that I can't take back and I'm not sure if I would. I didn't cheat on Tay, if that's what your wondering or questioning me with. Maybe a kiss was shared, and our hearts poured to eachother but I love Taylor and I can't lose him. It wasn't Taylor or hope who walked in on us hugging last night, it was Alya. I was going to go  After her  but Eli didn't want me to, it felt as if I was picking Eli over Tay, because I knew Alya would tell Taylor. She would tell him something that weren't true and would make a mess of things which in this point in time I don't need. Death of a friend, broken hearted little brother, parents fighting, weird friendship with Eli, xfactor to focus on. Don't need boyfriend drama on top of all this noise. Where did my peace and quiet with the positivity go.

I stand infront of my bathroom mirror, jewellery box infront of me and the green emerald starring me right in the face. I use to treasure that thing, no when I look at it I just lies and pain, my first kiss, I love you just everything results back to that necklace. But I can't seem to through it away. I close the box and leave my room, nerves washing over me as I get into my Uber going to the main stage to get my hair and make up done. Then perform, I feel like curling up into a ball and crying, my anxiety kicks in, it never really went away,

Your going to fall flat on your face and fall, forget the lyrics and get sent home.

Wish my thoughts would shut off for awhile.

When I finally arrive, I head stright into hair and make up, Jamie does my hair in lose curls and my make up a soft bronze eye, with bold red lips. My outfit isn't nothing fancy, a simple black romper and chunky nude heels, Eli walks past hair spiked smile plastered across his face and here about to through up, i go into the green room. To see hope, Jason , New hope club ( just pretend there on the show) I sit next to Jason when a pair of arms wrap around me, I turn around and see Taylor. I press my lips to his and hug him tightly.

"Hey, I missed you"

"Same here" he weakly smiles

"We okay?" I ask as I look up at him.

"Why wouldn't we be" he says with little confidence in his voice.

"Bailey Lawson your up" the stage crew calls me from the green room, every one hugs me and says good luck as I walk out. During the add break, they set up my props and what not, as I walk out eyes on me, just having to stand there awkwardly waiting. When the add break is over Ant and Dec (I don't know the real host name, just gonna use ant and dec) call my name that's my cue to start singing.

Eli's pov

I can sense her nerves and hear some shaky ness in her voice but she powers on. Taylor wasn't very reassuring when he said they were okay. I know there are a million things going through her head, her thoughts over taking and she's just trying to sing the next lyric. I know this because once upon a time, I was the person she felt safe enough with to spill her guts out, I know her and her thought process. Don't tell me I know nothing about bailey, when I know everything about her, I may have hurt her, but I'll always be her shoulder to cry on when Taylor's  not there. I'll always be the person that knows her the best, I'll always be the person to save her. I know now, the way I love her and that's

Bailey's pov

My heart was racing, just trying to find the lyrics in the rest of my thoughts but I did it, now for comments.

"For your first performance you sounded pretty solid, some nerves slipped in but that's to be expected on your first live show."

"Thank you Harry " I still freak out that Harry styles is infront of me judging my singing.

"Yeah I would have to agree, but we know you can do breath  taking performances but where's the upbeat and exciting"

"It's the first live show Simon and your all ready asking for something different (😏) "

"I have to agree with Simon, we know you can do pretty and heartbreaking, now we wamt upbeat and happy" Sabrina says. After the rest of the comments were given I can walk of stage and take the small pieces. Of my heart with me, they don't seem that bad but I feel as if, they cut me open and ripped my heart out.

"It will get better B"

"I know, it's just hard to hear and I'm not ready to go home"

"Come here" Hope hugs me, shes next to sing, she's gonna kill it, hope is the type of person who has a fire inside her. She prepared for everything and will take on any challenge thrown her way. You end up admiring her bravery and loveablity , you start off by hating her, then your her best friend, I don't hate her, she's supportive and just an overall good person. Her firey red hair just adds to her loud personality. It's good to have a friend like her around, she isn't much older then me, she's only 18.

"You did amazing b " tay now comes over.

"I did terrible and to make it worse Mum and dad didn't come, they can't be in the same room anymore and it just hurts to know there that way"

"I would tell you things will work it's self out but I don't want to give you false hope"

"I guess we're both disappointed by problems at home" he takes my arm and pulls me in for a hug.

"I'm sorry I cant fix it, if I could I would make it all go away cause I hate seeing you like this"

Later into the night, the judges made there decision, I was safe just by the skin of my teeth, Eli, New hope club, hope, Jason, Alex, Hannah, Amy, Tom where all safe, I didn't really know the person who was sent home.  I just curled up in bed when I got back, my night wasn't full of sweet dreams as I hoped, Nightmares and my fears took over to cause me to stare at my ceilings intill the sun was shining through my curtains.

Hey guys sorry it's a late in the week update, I had four projects due the day they were given to me. So yeah and I have to read two different books for two different book clubs at school and there's maths, humanities on top of health and English also science homework. There's just a lot, but writing is becoming my escape again, it makes me happy and relieves me of the stress that's been dumped on me. You guys and your sweet words keep me going, I appreciate you all so much thank you for sticking by me. Love you all and intill next time

Bye for now ❤️❤️