Everything She Was (Sequel to After everything We've Been Through )

Simon Cowell Doesn't Like Me

"5,4,3,2,1, happy new year " I press my lips to Tays smiling to myself as my phone buzzes.

"We would like to congratulate you, on your achievement of getting a second audition for xfactor, we wish you good luck and we will see you on the 7th."

"Omg, omg Bailey you did it "

"Haven't gotten that for yet, but I did, didn't I" I say as excited as ever.

***Skip to the 7th***

I can feel my heart beating fast and my palms sweat, I'm singing copy cat , Billie Eilish. Eli is stood a fair distance away from me Corbyn and Christina surrounding him, pumping him up with confidence. You might be surprised by this but when Eli sings, inside his having a massive panic attack and normally throws Up before performing that's how nervous he gets. Me, my nerves are small, I'm not afraid to sing infront of them but to be told I'm not good enough is what I'm most afraid of. I have to face Simon Cowell, Bea Miller, Sabrina carpenter and Harry Styles.

"Hey Eli, your gonna do great, please don't worry, you'll make me nervous as well."

"I thought you weren't talking to me?"

"I'm not, but I know how nervous you get. I also know that just hearing your parents say your good enough. Isn't enough to give you confidence because you feel as if they have to say what there saying. So you need to hear it from someone else, hearing it from me, knowing the shit were in, is going to give you the confidence you need. I'll be here when you need me most and this is one of those times"

He leans in to kiss me, I know we're not together, but in a way I wanted him to kiss me. I've been longing for him to press his lips to mine. In this moment my doubt and hate for him fades, Taylor fades, I inch closer to him. Intill our lips connect and it's turned into a short but yet a gentle and passionate kiss. As we come back to face eachother, eyes wide open, guilt shows in both our eyes as I walk away. I wanted it to last longer but we're dating someone p, and a simple kiss won't solve our issues.

My number and name is called, meaning I'm up, I walk up on stage, lights shinning on me. All four judges watching each step I take, my calm heart rate now disappears into a fast pace. We go through the normal routine, name, age, where I come from and why I sing or why I'm here. I hold onto the microphone stand tightly Turning my knuckles white, the music starts playing and it's my turn to sing.

"Don't be cautious, don't be kind
You committed, I'm your crime
Push my button, anytime

You got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger's mine

Silver dollar, golden flame
Dirty water, poison rain
Perfect murder, take your aim
I don't belong to anyone, but everybody knows my name

By the way, you've been uninvited
'Cause all you say
Are all the same things I did

Copycat, tryna cop my manner
Watch your back when you can't watch mine
Copycat, tryna cop my glamour
Why so sad, bunny, you can't have mine?

Call me calloused, call me cold
You're italic, I'm in bold
Call me cocky, watch your tone
You better love me, 'cause you're just a clone

Simon puts his hand up in the air, indicating me to stop singing.

"You have anything else Bailey, I feel as if you don't suit the song and would like to hear something else." He looks at me sternly.

"Um, I have an original song, if you would like to hear it." I say soft into the microphone.

"Sure when ever your ready " perrie says sweetly.

"I just need to get my guitar" I walk off stage, to see my mum starring at me sympathetically.

"You can do this b"

"What if I can't "

"You can." She hands me my guitar and pushes me back in stage. I close my eyes as I start strumming away and singing the first bit.

You all see perfection
But all I see are flaws

When I look in the mirror, I see
A broken reflection
A broken soul
a broken person

Everyone bleeds but I pour
Not only my heart and soul, but every fibre from my body
And sometimes it hard to breathhh

When the title wave comes and takes me away
I struggle, I run
I fall and I pour
( I'm not gonna write awhole song, ain't got time for that😂)

I had form three yess but now it's Simon turn.

"I just feel as if your not cut out for everything, your to young in my eyes, your voice just not ready. Come back in in a year or so, when your ready. It's a no from me"

" I diss agree, Simon, she poured her heart and soul into her singing. She is so mature for her age, are you blind old man. I think you need to turn your hearing aid up" Bea jokes.

"Your gonna prove him wrong, luckily you only needed three yes's. We'll see you at bootcamp." Harry smiles politely.

I walk off stage, you would think I would be happy or excited, but I'm not. Simon Cowell doesn't me. This just makes me wanna work harder. But when Eli walks up on stage and his done singing, he loves him, same age and all.

Are people still interested in this book?, I get the feeling that people are not reading it anymore because what they've wanted to happen has. but I read your old comments and it puts a smile on my face and keeps me going. Just because you aren't here now doesn't mean you won't be here later. I'm going to keep writing so no need to worry. Update will be here tomorrow.

Thanks guys love you all ❤️

-Paige