#INSPIRE

Mask

Have you ever lied to yourself for so long, that you start to believe that it's true?

I have.

I've told myself that I'm not good enough.

I've told myself that I was stupid.

I've told myself that I'm ugly.

I've told myself that if I ever open up to people, all that will cause is heartbreak.

So, I put on a mask. Not just mentally, I physically put on tons of makeup.

Sometimes, I don't even see myself. I see a heartless, empty creature that's just there.

My friends think I've opened up to them, but the real me wouldn't laugh, wouldn't smile, wouldn't joke.

The real me cries. The real me breaks down when alone. The real me never gets over heartbreak.

The real me is broken.

Even the people "closest" to me don't know me. They don't know how broken I actually am.

I still get the urges to cut, even though I'm trying so hard to get better. I'm still afraid of coming out as bisexual to the community. I'm still getting over my breakup, still getting over my rejection.

So, I just put on a mask and pretend I'm fine.

No one knows I'm not.

That's not good for me, I know. I've just been so used to it, that it's hard to reverse my old habits.

That's why, whenever people tell me I'm pretty, it goes in one ear and out the other. My brain has been programmed for so many years to listen to the demon on my shoulder, that it doesn't listen to the angel.

That's why you need other people. You need to be vulnerable, even when you feel you're at your worst.

Don't just put a mask over your beautiful face.