#INSPIRE

Healing

In order for me to "heal", I need to basically change my entire mindset, and how I think about things.

Here's a little fact; besides spiders, I'm sure most could agree that one of their worst fears is change.

I now go to this therapy program thing. I'm not saying that it's BAD, I'm just saying that it's uncomfortable for me. They put me on the spot a lot in groups, knowing that it's really hard for me to open up to people.

{Random fact: They made me do yoga today. YOGA!}

Also, I'm being put on medicine. I'm really anxious about what the meds are gonna do to me, I've heard nothing but scary crap about meds.

And yes, they make me cough up my phone at the beginning of the day. They don't give it back until they see my dad's car at the end of the day.

I'm so emotionally tired by the end of the day, that all I do when I get home is collapse on my bed and cry.

HOWEVER, there are some good things!

Like that I made some friends! A lot of friends actually, all of us are friends there. It's almost...magical.

Then, the place doesn't even let you keep in contact with them.

For example, we can't even give them our LAST NAMES.

I know it's so that we don't "trigger each other" or something, but I'll tell you something.

When I finally meet someone with the same sexuality, the same problems, the same humor, and the same level of social awkwardness, you're telling me that I DON'T want this person in my life?

I really don't know.

I know, however, that everything will eventually get better. One day, this whole depressing story will help someone. Maybe.

I hope.

Until then, you guys are amazing. You guys put up with the depressing crap that I put on this shitpost of depressing, triggering crap.

Seriously, thanks for putting up with me peeps.

Also, DON'T CUT YOURSELF, SAY YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF, OR ANYTHING THAT I DO OR SAY. It's not worth it.

PEACE!~