#INSPIRE

Words

Words. Oh, how I used to love words.

I loved how they flew off of my tongue, I loved how they expressed my personality, my being.

Words, I loved how they could turn into actions. Words truly showed how people felt, and what kind of a person someone was.

The thing about words is, they can hurt.

You don't realize it until they do.

"What you guys say, it hurts. Don't you think that what you've been saying is wrong? Go ahead, explain. I'm listening."

"I didn't mean it. I didn't know. I really didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Like seriously, I told you guys to stop. Multiple times. Did you think I was joking?"

"How you said it, it made it seem like it. I know that I shouldn't have said any of that, no matter if I was joking or not. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"To be honest, remember those panic attacks I told you I had this week? They were because of some of the things that you guys have said. I already hate myself, and this isn't making me feel any better."

"I never knew I was part of the problem...I've been worried sick about you! You just haven't been yourself, and I thought it was family drama or something. I didn't know you were depressed because of me!"

"Dude, it's okay. Don't cry. Look, give me a hug. I know you didn't mean it. You wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose. You've been through hell and back, so why would you try to hurt me? You've literally cut yourself, man, nothing I've gone through compares to that. It's okay dude, it's okay."

No, it's NOT.

You don't understand how angry I am at myself for hurting you. I never wanted to hurt anyone else after how much I've hurt, and I've basically made someone depressed.

I can never forgive myself.

I wouldn't be surprised if people will hate me after I post this. I just needed to get this off of my chest. It was REALLY bothering me.

I'm a bully now. I'm a bitch like I always knew I was. That's all I am.

I wouldn't be angry if everyone hates me now. God, I hate myself too.

I deserve whatever is coming to me.

I deserve it all.

Hey guys. Don't worry, I'm doing just fine. I'm just kinda upset at myself for what's been happening lately with one of my friends. I'm doing pretty okay though! New chapter coming soon!

And if my friend is reading this, I'm so sorry. My apologies will never be enough for what I did. I'm sorry...