my luck

s i x t e e n

Annie pov: today I start chemo I haven't told brennan yet though. I am going to surprise him and get hooked up in his room. I slowly made my way into his wing. I peeked in and saw him crying to himself. I walked to his side and rubbed his back. He turned to me and smiled, "Bren are you ok" w-what are you doing here "I start chemo today. I wanted to do it with you. I  uh I'm not doing chemo anymore... "what?" I asked confused. Annie it didn't work brennan responded "Bren I..." started tears starting to stream down my face "you aren't giving up...are you...?" Never it's not worth not getting to be with my beautiful girl he said putting his hand on my cheek and drying my tears with his thumb. I slightly smiled and turned to him "now what?" Drugs he responded "Bren" I said sounding almost disappointed Immunotherapy, Steroids , Antibiotic drugs, Antiviral drugs we hope and pray that that works that's about all we can do. Brennan said pulling me closer. What about you he added squeezing me tighter " chemo radiation same things but I don't have a promise for a future. My future is you brennan said smiling at me. He then started coughing a lot it sounded almost liquid. I pressed my nurse call button and she took brennan away for scans. When he came back the look in his eyes told me that it wasn't good. "You okay Bren?" I asked calmly trying not to freak him out. There is fluid in mt lungs and my liver is starting to die he said timidly looking me in the eye. " Bren..." save it Annie he said turning his head away from me I don't want to hear how I am going to be okay that this is just a bump in the road that we are going to live happily ever after I am dying don't you get that! Brennan spat out at me. "SO AM I" I screamed back gathering enough strength to stand up take my chemo pole and go back to my room. I cried for hours on end. Me and brennan never fight and the fact that I might lose him is scaring me. I couldn't comprehend a life without him and I didn't want to. My phone dinged and I saw that katie.

K: where are you brennan called me crying
A: you should come to the hospital he is not doing well and well we got in a fight
K: a fight? You guys never fight
A: I know I don't know what happened I think we are both just scared
K: I'm on my way I'll talk to him
A: I got to go I don't feel good
K: I'm sorry Ans I'll come visit
A: thanks katie I love you
K: I love you too

I laid my head back on my pillow and closed my eyes I felt dizzy and nauseous and so sore. I picked my phone up and asked Siri to call brennan as the screen made me nauseous

He answered but didn't say anything

A: b I'm sorry (crying) I'm just scared and I miss you ...a lot. I need you Bren I really don't feel good and I need you here next to me.

B: Annie this is mrs Jill they had to sedate brennan and put him back on the ventilator we are going to have to put him on life support he is not doing well I'm so sorry

A: I um I got to go

I said hanging up

I called my nurse in and pleaded her to take my bed down to brennan she very reluctantly agreed and wheeled me down to his room I cried the second I saw him making more pain surge through my body I grabbed his hand and cried "I'm so so sorry for everything Bren you are the love of my life and I don't know what I could ever do without you. I need you. I need your laugh and your smile and your warm hugs I need your warm touch brennan I can't make it through this without you.