Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)

sixty-six: lay us down, we're in love

I helped Brendon through my window and into my room, and he immediately sighed and pulled me in for a hug, resting his chin on my shoulder and holding me close. 

"Charlie, I know I already said this but I'm really sorry about assuming everything about Josh," he said quietly, and I pulled away so I could look at him. 

"Stop dwelling on it," I said, putting my hand against his cheek and he nodded. "I want to try and set Josh and Dallon up." 

He nodded again. "That would be really cool. Dallon said that he doesn't want to date a girl again for a while after everything between him and Rachel and he's been wanting to meet new people more anyways." 

Brendon sat down on my bed and I stayed standing, thinking. "They already spend time together when Josh is drumming for Dallon and all, but we need to get them to spend time together outside of that, you know. How would we go about doing that?" 

The whole time Brendon and I were brainstorming, he wouldn't sit still. He kept bouncing his leg up and down, and tapping his fingers against his thigh and sighed every now and then for no apparent reason. It was really unlike him, he was usually so calm and collected, and this was so out of character for him. 

"Brendon." He snapped his head up at me from where he was staring at the ground, grabbing onto his knees. 

"What is it?" he asked.

"What's going on with you?" I asked. "You haven't sat still the entire time you've been here, it's so unlike you. What's wrong?" 

He sighed again, looking down and hesitating before speaking quietly, almost shyly. "I've been off my meds for about a week now." 

"What?" I asked, confused as to what he was talking about.

"They started making me depressed," he continued. "For some reason, I don't know. The prescription that I've been taking for years that worked perfectly fine just doesn't anymore. I guess my body is changing."

"Brendon, what are you talking about?" I asked. "I didn't even know you took medication for anything." 

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you about it sooner, I just didn't know how," he sighed. "I have really bad ADHD, I don't like to talk about it much and no one really knows about it. Just you and Dallon outside of my family, really."

"Brendon." I sat down next to him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, I was just worried that you'd think differently of me," he said, and covered his eyes, taking off his glasses as he started crying again. 

"No, no, not at all," I said, hugging him and pulling him closer to me as he softly cried. "This doesn't change my view of you at all. There's nothing to be ashamed of about that, Brendon. I just wish you'd told me sooner." 

Eventually, Brendon stopped crying and I was able to get him to relax, and although he was still a bit fidgety, he seemed pretty relieved about a lot of things. 

"Was that why you kept shutting me out?" I asked. "You said your medication was making you depressed." 

He nodded. "My mom and Dallon both noticed that I kept shutting myself in my room all the time, and I didn't want to hang out with anyone or do anything anymore, and I stopped doing my homework or even playing or writing music. I don't know, I just didn't really care anymore. So my mom brought me to the doctor and they told me to stop taking my medication and they're working on trying to find a better one that works." 

I rubbed his back and finally understood why he was acting so odd lately. Maybe it was partially because of everything with Josh, but that was also probably because of his medication.