Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)

eighty: i never really thought that you'd come tonight

I opened my eyes carefully, noticing the emptiness of the bed around me and shivering at how cold it was in my room. I looked to the window to see it was barely open, from when Brendon left. 

My heart sank in disappointment as I realized that he didn't even stay, and I climbed out of bed to shut the window and made sure my thermostat was turned up to a comfortable temperature, my heater turning on while I cocooned myself in blankets to warm up again. I hadn't been thinking clearly when I called Brendon last night and asked him to come over, how could I assume that he was okay with just coming right back after I'd tossed him aside for nearly a month? 

But truth be told, I was a mess. My life was a mess, everything was in shambles and not having Brendon was making it even worse. Sure, it wouldn't make it better having him with me still but when I was in his arms the night before it seemed like just for a few moments everything was okay again. And that was when I realized that I needed to figure this out, with Brendon.

I got out of bed even though I was still cold and dressed myself in a sweater and jeans, leaving my room to slip into the bathroom and wash the tears from my face. My eyes were still red and slightly puffy but I ignored it, knowing there were more important things than my appearance at that moment. I brushed my hair into a ponytail and went back to my room, finally checking the time to realize that I'd actually slept in until late morning and it was nearly 10:30. 

My parents weren't in sight, and Jason was sitting at the table eating a bowl of oatmeal when I walked out. He offered me a small smile, and I returned it with a sigh.

"Working things out with Brendon finally?" he asked. 

"You saw him come over last night didn't you?" 

He just smirked, taking another bite of his oatmeal. 

"Right, well I'll be back later, hopefully," I said. "If everything goes fine." 

"It will," he nodded, and I turned to put on my jacket and shoes before stepping outside into the snow to walk down the street to Brendon's house. 

I reached the front door, walking up the porch steps and taking a deep breath before I stepped forward and knocked. Grace opened the door, looking very surprised to see me standing there. 

"Hi Charlie," she said, smiling at me nonetheless. "Haven't seen you come over in a while." 

"Yeah, there's been a lot going on," I managed to smile back. "Is Brendon home?" 

"He's in his room," she said, stepping aside and letting me in. I took off my jacket and shoes and slowly walked back to his room, the door was cracked open and I heard the pleasant strumming of his guitar coming from behind it and I almost smiled a little to myself as I approached it. I knocked on it before pushing it open to see Brendon wearing a sweatshirt and shorts, his hair a mess and glasses on his face, guitar in hand and notebook on his desk in front of him. He turned to look at me, surprised to see me standing in his doorway. 

"Can I come in?" I asked hesitantly. 

"Yeah, yeah, of course," he nodded quickly, taking off his guitar and setting it down, closing his notebook as I stepped in and left the door cracked open behind me. I sat down on his bed next to him where he had moved and we sat in silence for a moment. 

"You left last night without saying goodbye," I finally said what had been bothering me all morning.

"Well, I actually left this morning, and I did say goodbye, you were just asleep," he replied quietly, pushing his glasses up with his index finger. "I didn't want to... make things worse I guess."