Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)

eighty-one: it was always you

I'd layered myself in much more clothing when Brendon picked me up later in the evening knowing that I'd be in a much colder environment than a little coffee shop. When he arrived at my front door and I opened up to see him, he still looked awful with the dark circles under his eyes, but he still smiled big at me when I wrapped my arms around his body in a hug and let him lead me out to his car. 

He started his car before stopping and turning to me, looking at me for a long moment seriously before he said, "you look beautiful," and leaned across the seat to kiss me softly and pull out of my driveway. 

We went to the ice rink for a while, and I actually really enjoyed myself doing something for the first time in what felt like an eternity. I couldn't stop laughing with Brendon, skating and falling a few times but still having a great time. He seemed to be having just as much fun as me, and all my broken pieces felt like they were finally coming together for a while. 

We decided to go to my favorite burger place when we were too tired to continue ice skating, and we took our burgers to-go and ate them as we drove around and looked at Christmas lights. As stupid as it was especially to me, I still had a good time. As we passed by a few highly decorated houses, I thought about how we'd done this a year before, and how at that point, I'd been dealing with shit falling apart like my friendship with Rachel and my entire reputation at school. This year it was my family, much like it was last year, but worse and better in a few ways. I'd had Brendon last year, at least always as a friend, and this year I knew I had him but at the same time it felt it was easier to lose him. I was afraid I'd lost him just that morning, in fact. But he was smiling and having a good time too. It didn't take me long to realize that I shouldn't have that much to worry about after all. He was there and he wanted to help and he wasn't going anywhere. 

"Hey, this house actually has a garden that's lit up that you can walk through, and it's really pretty," Brendon said, pointing to a house sat in front of us lit up with colorful lights and a walkway leading back to a garden I could almost see, with all the lights inside. "My mom and I went to it the other day."

"Let's go look," I smiled at him and he pulled over to park along the curb, and we got out together, bundled in our jackets and walked up the sidewalk to the house, a few people walking out to the backyard. 

A woman greeted us with a smile, directing us to the garden, and I assumed it was her house. We walked through the archway to it, which was lit up with warm white Christmas lights. Brendon's hand wrapped into mine, and I held it tightly as we walked through the garden.

The lights were beautiful, of course. But I was looking at Brendon more than anything. Even when he looked horribly exhausted like he did, he was still beautiful and easy on the eyes. His dark hair was a complete mess in the most delightful way, his dark eyes reflected the lights brightly and the silhouette of his facial structure made my heart skip a beat. It shouldn't be humanly possible for someone to be that attractive so easily. 

Brendon turned to me and gave me a slightly shy smile. "Can I take your picture in front of that?" he asked. 

I turned to see what he was pointing at, a little tree with lights hung around the branches to light up the dark evening.

"Sure," I nodded, standing next to the tree and smiling as Brendon pulled out his phone to take a picture. I hated having my picture taken but I knew it made him happy, and it wasn't the first time he'd taken a picture. He at least asked this time. 

"Hey, can you take our picture together?" he stopped someone nearby, handing his phone to them as they agreed and he walked up next to me and put his arm around me, holding me close to him as we both smiled for the picture together. He thanked the stranger as he took his phone back, looking at the picture and showing it to me.