Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)

ninety-seven: something beautiful and tragic

A/N: hello darkness my old friend (from the queen of inconsistency herself)

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"Hey," I smiled as I sat down with Rachel with the tea I'd ordered and settled in with her at the coffee shop. She smiled back at me, something felt weird, like she wasn't herself, and I could imagine that was probably pretty true for her, considering she had a pregnancy to address.

"Hi," she said back, taking a sip of her tea. "How are you doing?"

"Okay," I sighed. "Stressed, like always. You know me."

"Yeah," she chuckled a little. "You always have something to worry about." 

"How about you? How are you holding up with this whole baby thing?" I asked, and she sighed too. 

"I'm gonna keep it," she said. "My mom isn't happy. But it's not really her choice. I'm 18 so she can't force me to do anything."

"What about your ex? How did he react?" I asked.

"I haven't told him," she sighed. "I don't think I want to. He's not exactly what I would look for in a fatherly figure. He's probably not even going to graduate because he can't keep his head on straight. I'd rather not have a baby with him involved, if I can avoid it." 

I nodded. "That makes sense." I thought about what would happen if I got pregnant. Brendon and I were always really careful, using condoms every time. I knew Brendon would make a great dad, but I certainly didn't want him to become one any time soon, if at all. I didn't even know if I wanted kids someday. If I got pregnant, I didn't know what I'd do. I'd like to think that I'd probably have an abortion, but I know the decision wouldn't really be that easy. 

"Yeah, I'm trying to just be excited more than anything else," she smiled. "I mean, this has already made me realize how stupid and trivial so many of my problems before were." 

I nodded. "I think it's really cool and admirable that you're keeping it. I think you'll make a good mom."

"I hope so," she said. 

The school year was quickly coming to and end. Dallon was worrying me more and more. He seemed more distant as time went by, and less lively the more times I spoke to him. It wasn't obvious; he was still laughing and smiling with everyone, but there was something missing, like the life was slowly draining from him. I took it upon myself to reach out, and invited him to get pizza with me. He didn't really agree at first but after some pestering he finally agreed. 

"Dallon, how have you been doing?" I asked, sitting at the table with our food as he was grabbing a slice. 

"I'm alright," he shrugged. "The usual."

"I just get worried about you," I said. "You've seemed really out of character lately." 

"I'm just stressed," he admitted. "School is stressful, and it's tiring hiding my relationship from my family, and pretty much everyone outside of our friend group." 

I nodded. "If you need anything, you know you can always come to me. Like absolutely anything. I hope you understand that." 

He smiled at me. "Of course."

"I mean it. I practically owe you my life after everything you've done for me."

He laughed. "Come on, stop being dramatic." 

Brendon continued packing for college. I continued stressing. I couldn't help it. It made me nervous. I spent as much time with him as I could, whether it was just hanging out and cuddling, playing video games after school, holding him close and memorizing as many little details about him as I could for the bad days I knew I was going to have with him away. 

Josh and Dallon got to the point where they only got to hang out when Dallon's parents weren't home and I could tell they were both frustrated by this. I started inviting them both over to hang out so they could hang out together, and I didn't mind third-wheeling with them anyways. A lot of the time Brendon would join us and it was actually a good time, and even got to the point where I just let Dallon tell his parents that he was coming over to my house so that he could just go next door and hang out with Josh instead. 

There was no motivation left for school. None of us were worried about anything but graduating, especially now that it was so close. When it finally came, it was like a breath of fresh air. 

The ceremony was long and boring. We were all a little antsy through some long emotional speeches from teachers, a stupid "inspirational" speech from the valedictorian, and a musical performance by the jazz band, which was probably the most entertaining of all the parts of the ceremony. When it was finally finished, and everyone's parents had taken plenty of pictures, and we managed to get away, everyone headed to Robin's house for a party to celebrate the graduation. 

Robin had graduated a couple days before, since she was at a different school, but waited to have the whole party until Dallon and the rest of us had graduated. It worked out well, and her parents were there but they were mostly leaving us alone, just making sure that no one was planning on driving home drunk or high. 

Almost everyone was either drinking or smoking, or doing both, but I didn't drink anything with anyone. I smoked a little bit, but just enjoyed the time I had with my friends and finally relaxed knowing that we were officially finished with high school. 

"I'd like to make a speech," Dallon said, standing on a chair and raising his cup of apple juice. Our friend group grew quiet, and Dallon said, "fuck high school," and then got down, earning cheers and claps from all of us. 

It was like a safe space for Dallon and Josh too, where they got to cuddle up with each other and not have to worry about getting in trouble. Robin's parents knew that he couldn't tell his parents about it, and they were cool with it. I wished my parents were as cool as Robin's were. I wished Dallon's parents were as cool as Robin's were.

The summer I spent with Brendon too, and although I was still walking around with that gloomy cloud over my head to remind me that our days together until he had to leave were now numbered, I genuinely enjoyed getting to spend the time with him that I did. Fall was here before I even knew it, and Brendon was all packed up and ready to go, and we were saying goodbye before I even had a chance to process it.

"I'm gonna call you lots, and I'm only a couple hours away," he assured me, as tears poured from my eyes and he wrapped his arms around me. "I'll be home visiting whenever I can, too. I'll be gone and back so fast we won't even have time to miss each other." 

"I doubt that's true, because I already miss you and you're not even gone," I said, him leaning his forehead against mine.

"Well stop doing that," he said. He pulled away and looked at me, tears swelling in his own eyes. "We can make this work. We always do."

I nodded, leaning in and giving him a kiss on the lips. "You better get back to your goodbyes with your family." 

He smiled. "I'll call you tonight."

I managed to smile back at him. "Okay."

-

A/N: look i know its been way too long for this

also i was planning on spreading these out over the span of like 3 more chapters but its just gonna be boring and tedious so i'm ending it here and saving everyone the bore so i can just get to the juicy stuff

i say "everyone" as if this fic still has readers LMAO if everyone has given up i don't blame them, this is long overdue 

anyways i high key hate this update but i'm eager to just get to the good stuff already so this is it, i'll be publishing part 3 (called touch and go) and that's where the story will continue.

if you're still reading ilysm