I opened my eyes and everything was white around me. I blinked a few more times before I realized I was laying on the ground, and I slowly sat up so that I could look around and saw that a woman was standing in front of me, wearing a short white dress and standing next to a white tree. She offered me a smile, her blue eyes lighting up, and she brushed a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear.
"Am I dead?" I asked.
"To the rest of the world, yeah," she walked towards me, kneeling in front of me and I looked around to see that I was in my favorite park, but everything was white, and the woman in front of me and myself were the only ones around.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"My name is Sarah," she said simply, and gave no further explanation. She looked like an older version of myself, but with shorter, straighter hair, blue eyes, and a thinner face.
"How do we know each other?" I asked, still thoroughly confused as to where I was or who Sarah was.
"Well, I've known you your entire life," she said. "You know that voice in your mind that you hear telling you when something is bad and you shouldn't do it? That's me."
"So you're like my guardian angel," I said.
She laughed a little. "Well, I believe the word most people use to describe it is subconscious."
"So... Are you like a figment of my imagination or something?" I asked.
"If that's what you make me," she shrugged. "Just know that no matter what happens, I don't leave."
I looked around, still unsure as to how I'd ended up in this entirely white version of my favorite park, the one that Brendon took me to all the time. I frowned as I remembered Brendon. Where was he? What if this is like heaven and I die and never get to tell Brendon that I love him?
"You had plenty of opportunities, Charlie," Sarah said, now leaning over to sit on the side of her hips and face me.
I looked back at her, and she was staring directly at my face. Can she read my thoughts?
"Of course I can read your thoughts, they're basically out loud here," she said. "This is all inside your head."
"Am I going to see Brendon again?" I asked.
"I can only tell you wisdom, Charlie, not the future," she said gently. "You're the one who decides that." She reached over to one of the white flowers next to us in the white grass we were sitting in, picking one and reaching out to put it in my hair. I felt a warm hang slip into mine and hold it, and I looked to my left hand, but no one was there.
"Is that Brendon?" I asked quietly.
She smiled at me. "He's closer than you think."
I did my best to give his hand a squeeze, let him know that I'm still here, with the limited mobility I had in my body. Then I realized I couldn't move at all anymore, or speak. I started breathing hard, beginning to panic, and Sarah reached forward and touched my face, her soft hand soothing me slightly.
"Panicking will only make it worse," she said, gently pushing me back to lay down again. And then everything went black again.
-
*Brendon's Point of View*
I refused to leave the hospital at all until I was allowed to see Charlie, and my mom thankfully didn't push the issue of trying to get me to come home and go to school. I dozed off once or twice for a short period of time in the waiting room, and finally around 5 in the morning they let us back to see Charlie.
I stopped before I walked into the room, taking a deep breath and closing my sore eyes before I allowed myself to enter the room, seeing her tangled hair laying in the bed. She had a few stitches on the right side of her face, some blood in the right side of her hair, her right arm in a sling and her body stiffly positioned slightly upright in the bed, I'm assuming to keep her broken ribs into place. I slowly sat down at her left side, watching her face that looked so disturbingly peaceful, breathing slowly underneath the oxygen mask. She was unrecognizable. This was not Charlie, this was not what I was going to have as a girlfriend. She needs to be sitting with me in my room while I play music for her, or walking through her favorite park with me, listening to my rants on climate change. Or being worried about something going on at school so that I could talk to her and comfort her, let her know that it will all be alright. She should be sitting in her room with Muffin, painting and listening to music, humming along to it and cringing at the beautiful artwork she'd create that she'd always end up hating. This wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this.
"You need to wake up, Charlie," I said softly. "I can't imagine life without you." I didn't realize I was crying again until a few hot tears fell from my already burning eyes and I took her cold hand in mine, holding it with both of my hands. "Please give me a sign, let me know that you're listening and you'll try your hardest to wake up." I removed my hand from over the top of hers to wipe away the tears falling down my cheeks, and I felt her hand give the faintest squeeze, holding onto mine. I quickly replaced my other hand, leaning down and kissing her knuckles softly. "I promise, I'm not leaving the hospital until you wake up, Charlie."
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A/N: short chapter, i didn't mean for it to be this short but oh well, i'm trying to write 2 updates today anyways :)
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Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)
FanfictionSequel to Friends
