Brendon was needy and clingy like no one's business over the following few weeks. He constantly wanted to be holding me, kissing me or even hugging me at every opportunity that he got. Along with that, he was hornier than ever and was whining about a blowjob or trying to take me into some other room to eat me out at least once a day it seemed. While I was enjoying his affection and neediness, I wasn't in the mood to be having sex because I was so stressed about the realization I'd made about my own sexuality. I couldn't look him in the eyes and know that I was hiding something from him, but I was too afraid to tell him otherwise.
"Charlie," he whined, pressing a short kiss to my neck as he tried to pull me into my bedroom and even though no one was home, I just wasn't feeling it.
"Brendon, I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood," I sighed, shrugging him off as I tried to do my homework, sitting at the dining room table while trying to work through a math problem. I'd asked him for help with it like 3 times but he still hadn't answered me.
He sighed as well, sitting next to me and finally giving up on trying to get me to have sex with him. I'd hardly touched him in 2 weeks and I knew he was getting antsy but I couldn't do it. Not until I was able to tell someone and face what I was struggling with.
"Charlie, is something going on?" he asked quietly after a moment.
"Hmm? No, I just want to get this problem done," I replied, but he took my pencil from my hand and set it down, and I turned to look at him, a concerned look on his face.
"I'm not asking as your horny boyfriend, I'm asking as your concerned boyfriend for the lack of interest you've been showing lately," he said. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Brendon, I'm just stressed," I said, attempting to pick up the pencil again but he swatted my hand away from it.
"Charlie come on, I know when you say 'I'm stressed' there's more to it than just having a lot going on," he said. "What is it?"
"It's nothing," I snapped, picking up the pencil. Brendon frowned and dropped his hands in his lap. I felt a twinge of guilt. He wasn't doing anything wrong, he was just concerned and I was too much of a pussy to tell him what was really bothering me.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I've honestly just got a lot going on. You know how it gets this time of year."
"I just want to help," he said quietly.
"I know," I sighed again. "I'm sorry, I'm just stuck in a rut right now and all we can do is wait it out."
I wrapped my arms around him in a hug and he embraced me back, my chin resting on his shoulder. I hated lying to him. I hated it so much, especially because I knew that all he wanted to do was help and it drove him crazy to know he couldn't. That's what made me realize that I really needed to talk to someone about this, someone that would understand and be helpful in this situation.
The following day, a Friday, I called Josh and asked him to come over after school. He agreed immediately, informing me that he'd be right over and I thought over how I was supposed to go about saying something like this.
I greeted him at the front door, and he smiled big at me, the way he always does showing his perfect teeth and offering a hug. I gladly accepted it, inviting him in and walking back to my room after informing my mother that he was there.
"So what do you want to do?" he asked as I sat down on my bed.
"Well actually, I wanted to talk to you about something because I know you'd understand," I said. "And it's been driving me crazy, so much that it's starting to affect my relationship with Brendon in negative ways."
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Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)
FanfictionSequel to Friends
